Surrender to Nature

Ode to you ahgong

2008-10-15T07:30:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, its as if you treat your close ones as superhuman, thinking that there will always be time to spend with them later and that they will always be there waiting for you. However, reality can be cruel, and when it hits you, the blow can be rather devastating.

I've so many other things on my mind, my eye infection, the insomnia, playing with my new hamsters, agonizing over the frustrating 314 test, impending lab report, emoing about feeling ignored... But the truth of the matter is, all of these seem so trivial as compared to the phone call I received from my mum last night, telling me that my grandfather's been admitted to hospital in a serious condition.

I've lived with my grandparents until secondary school. He would go out at 3am every morning to Jurong Fishery to sell fish, then come back in the morning with a nice fat fish for the family to eat during dinner. When he retired, he spent his day fruitfully, taking a walk in the early mornings, watching television, reading the newspapers, taking another evening walk which was then followed by sitting downstairs with the neighbours. He would give me money for candy, teach me mandarin and occasionally take me and my grandma out to eat or to visit my aunt in Tampines.

Then, secondary school came along and suddenly, I had no time for these activities anymore. Soon, I moved back home and my contact with my grandparents moved from a daily basis, to a weekly basis, then to once every 2 months or more. I had the key to my grandparent's place still and I've always found it easy to say that I'll visit, yet something would crop up at the last minute and I wouldn't go over because of that.

Even with his healthy lifestyle, he had his failings, his love for food with high cholesterol and his quick temper. He suffered greatly because of that, having 2 strokes, with the second one paralyzing the entire right side of his body, yet he lived through that. My grandfather was a stubborn old bull, he taught himself how to walk again through intensive physiotherapy, he taught himself how to write again by copying the newpaper articles onto my used exercise books left around in his house during primary school. He learnt to talk, to form the words with his mouth all over again. He was back to his old self, but this was not to last.

Over the last few years, all of us noticed a steep decline in his health. First, he started having difficulties walking properly. This started to worsen ever since last year so we got him a walking stick and a wheelchair, which previously he would have flatly refused to use either because of his pigheadedness. His speech started becoming slurred and the words he said unrecognizable. It got so bad because we couldn't understand him at all. Often, he would get frustrated and make loud noises while trying to communicate. Writing didn't help too because he wasn't able to write at all at this point. It broke my heart trying to fix the television for him, because I didn't understand what he wanted and he was standing in front of me for 40 minutes trying so hard to communicate what he wanted me to help him with. I can't imagine the loneliness he must have felt, not being able to express what he feels like he used to do so, like a mind being trapped in a body that wouldn't cooperate.

How could we be so blind. I should have known, I told my mum that I think he has Alzhemier's, but I never bothered to read up on it properly. When he was admitted to hospital with symptoms of a fever and urinary incontinence, I went to check wiki for it and you know what? Almost every symptom there was true. And the worse part is, the doctor diagnosed pneumonia and possibly multiple sclerosis, the worse possible combo for a weak elderly man.

Its his birthday next week, we had planned to go to the restaurant as usual to celebrate it, but that has to be cancelled now. As a granddaughter and a science student, the thought of what may happen to him is enough for now to reduce me to tears. I haven't slept in 24 hours again because of this, and there is nothing else I can do, except to cope with it and pray that I don't breakdown, because the tears are staining my lab report and my brain cannot process anything else but the pounding in my head, the soreness of my eye and the nagging feeling of dread in my heart.

Don't wait for things to happen before taking action. Its a cliche line I know, but its as true as they come. Tell ur loved ones that you love them today, because everyday is a gift of life.

2008-09-16T03:03:00.003+08:00

Yet another busy week, seems like year 3 is really taking a toll on me. I'm thinking of making the transition from WoW to Warhammer when it comes out this friday. Since when does a game become a commitment? I can't deny that it has been fun, but perhaps it is time to move on.

I don't know why but I feel irrationally angry at Singaporeans who blatantly agree with foreigners living in Singapore about how certain things here suck as compared to where they came from, and I'm not even in the least bit what anyone would call patriotic. We've been harping on freedom of speech for so long, and yet I wonder, when we do, one day, get true freedom of speech, would it really be a dream come true?

Oh yeah, to the clueless out there, agreeing is not an opinion, thanks for exhibiting the sheep mentality yet again. Yes you don't like our newspapers and newschannels, yes CNN and BBC is better and more accurate, thats what cable TV is for. Newsflash: Journalism is propaganda, live with it.

Sian

2008-09-09T22:57:00.002+08:00

This is probably one of the most unwholesome month in a long time, crappy weather, even crappier assignments... Feeling sick 24/7 because of a combination of the above two factors feels so much like being dumped into a blender. A working blender. A working blender that is plugged in and is now pulsing the shit out of you. Zzzz *snores*

2 lab reports, 3 labs, 1 test down, plenty more to go. Head's spinning around, stomach's churning. Yeah yeah I know, whinewhinewhinewhinewhine. Blah blah. I wish for some time to myself. Why haven't anyone invented teleporters yet?! All you Noble prize winners and researchers, get down to it! All the time I spend travelling to and from school can be used more productively. And for those who say, "But vanderia, why not try studying on the way home?" You try studying on the bus or train, assuming that you even get a seat, when the bus is rocking like a ship on steroids and when you're stuck with the stinky evening rush hour crowd, sitting in between 2 pungent people who are leaning percoriously close to your shoulder in deep slumber. Thats all I got to say. Time out please, I need a kitkat.

High School Musical?

2008-08-31T02:45:00.003+08:00

Been a long time since I met up with my poly friends, hence I was thrilled when Peter/ZY decided to call for a gathering today. As usual, I'm late and even after 3 years, Ronald is still the one who is the latest, be it to class or to the gathering. Dinner was eventful, with lots of smalltalk, or rather, smallscreams since it was quite noisy and we had to raise our voices to be heard. There was much talk about the past, the present and the future but the main topic of the day was...

*drumroll*

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Serene and ZY are TOGETHER! and thats not all.....

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They have been together since Poly year 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And and and and.....

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Kexin and I are the ONLY two people who DON'T KNOW IT UNTIL TODAY!!!!!!!!!!

Walaoeh, this beats Amanda's hands down. What was I doing man! I really, utterly had no idea that they were together and this is no small feat, considering that we practically sat next to the both of them in the same lecture theatre every freaking day until we graduated?! Oh my goodness, sigh.

On another note, let me tell you a story, about this boy who was in love with a girl. They both supposedly, played this game together, but never at the same time. One day, the boy got shot trying to stop a robbery from taking place and was badly injured. And the girl? She continues playing the game, telling everyone in the game about what happened, crying for sympathy but nevertheless, still playing the game even though the boy is lying in ICU now, fighting for his "supposedly" life.

What is the moral of the story? Never believe anything you read on the internet, especially when it concerns idiotic attention whores. SWAT team paramedic my freaking ass, you cheetos eating delusional obese nerd of an American sitting in front of your computer all day weaving lies for an online audience, stop screwing up a game for others. If you're a medic, good for you, you're actually doing something decent for a living, considering that you have the personality of a donkey cross bred with a goldfish on steroids. But more than likely, its probably a case of "if you're a medic, I'm a hollywood superstar." Ahh, its good to have dreams.

Why haven't I been blogging?

2008-03-17T12:19:00.003+08:00

And someone asked, why haven't I been blogging?

Because I've been busy, and blogging isn't top of my to-do list..

... Because blogger requires me to log in and I'm too lazy to even do that

... ... Because I have a poor memory and forgets what I want to blog about everytime I reach home

... ... ... Because uni life really sucks the soul out of you and leaves you a shell of the person that you once were

But most importantly, because I don't think anyone else cares.

Lame

2007-07-17T13:20:00.000+08:00

If you're ever going to join a camp, please don't join one where the organizing committee is a joke. Planning a camp during the time where you know half the people have commitments? Smart choice there buddy. Don't blame me if I can't make it then, I'm practically in school for 12 hours each day, unlike some other people who have 30 day reactions. Go ahead, blacklist me see if I care. (Hint: I don't, I've been in better ones and have been in the main comm of better ones already.)

Limit Break

2007-05-24T01:39:00.000+08:00

Nope I'm not dead, though I seriously wished that I was. Summer research is excruciatingly tiring. I don't know what possessed me to sign up for it in the first place, probably my greed for more credit and now I'm paying the price. I could have had a good time slacking at home playing wow and.. Oh well, what is the point of mentioning that anyway now since no matter what I say, it will do absolutely nothing for my current situation?

Despite the neverending wait for my turn to do a reaction, my complete lack of common sense and various other reasons, I have to admit that it has been a rather enriching experience, like a rude wake up call. Believe me when I say that I have a hundred and one things to rant about and I really don't think I should bore you with details.

To tell the truth, that was not my main purpose in blogging, rather, there has been something on my mind that I said that I would settle after the exams. I've been taking a really long time deliberating over what would be the best way to talk about it without being excessively harsh, but so far, all my options have reached a dead end. I guess subtlety has never been my strong point. Those who know me well knows for a fact that silence is my best armor and I guess it would always stay that way, afterall, it would be better if I remained silent rather than say something that I might regret later.

Thus far, I believe some of you may be confused as to what the hell I'm trying to say, but just bear with me for a moment or two while I sort out my thoughts. This whole thing pens out like a bad E/N thread (Thanks SA!) and as all E/N threads go, there is a backstory to it. Now I don't know if you have noticed it, but somewhere on the left side of this blog, there is a part where I specifically said that I loathed (1) Liars and (2) Cheaters. I have been suppressing my feelings for a very long time, but everything just took a turn for the worst when a good friend lies to me blatantly. Trust is a fragile thing and after this incident, I would keep thinking about what other things have said good friend lied about.

But, you say, its just a lie, why are you so mad about it? Well, the thing about it is that, it involves another male heterosexual species who harbours romantic thoughts about said good friend. The trouble is, both were attached at that point of time. You can see where point 2 on that list down there to the left comes in now. The truth is, I'm not just angry with the lie, but rather, I'm also disappointed in the actions that some people have taken despite my warnings and her assurances. Obviously I'm not saying it out of jealousy because I have absolutely zero interest in said male homosapien (That and see point number 2. Cheating is just something that I cannot condone, regardless of how attractive or how lonely. There is no excuse. Break it off if you want to but don't bloody cheat.) and I'm not saying that two members of the opposite sex cannot be good friends. However, when you blur the line between friends and flirt so much that it becomes so obvious to others and myself, I just can't help but feel repulsed.

As I said earlier, my silence is my armor. I have been ignoring you thus far because I can't sort out how I feel and what to say. I do value our friendship, which is why I didn't bring up a direct confrontation. As a friend, I can't bear to watch something like this unfold. As an individual, I absolutely hate getting lied to, especially by someone who I have known for so long. What made it worse was the fact that you lied to me to go out with him. Regardless of your intentions, if you think about it simply from my childish point of view, you chose him over me, now please step into my shoes and imagine how I would feel.

I guess this is rather vague, but well, thats just the gist of it, food for thought. I've said a lot I feel, but it still isn't everything. I can close an eye and pretend some things never happened, but please don't expect me to walk around blinded. I'm sorry for such an emo post, but well, emo posts = long posts right? With lotsa juicy gossip? Sometimes, being human is such a pain in the royal behind. Its just too bad we're born alliance. I mean, would it be possible to at least reroll a draenei? (WoW joke. Ha-Ha-Ha.) I'm so sorry that it wasn't even remotely funny. Heck I didn't even laugh. In fact, I was contemplating deleting that from my entry but I thought that I'll just leave it there so as to waste 5 minutes of your time reading this utter crap. Oh god, why am I such a massive nerd?

BULLSHIT

2007-04-23T15:18:00.000+08:00

After this post, I will study and maybe, just maybe I will be able to ignore some bullshit until after my exams. Maybe.

EXAMS

2007-04-18T22:42:00.000+08:00

... zzz hate exams, first paper starts tomorrow, in less than 12 hours.

In any case since I'm here, just wanted to say:

My prayers are with you, students of VAtech. (excluding that batshit insane Korean fuck, thanks a lot man, now people are going to debate about banning violent computer games again.)

Also, this little gem from the newpaper regarding the Human Organ Transplant Act really makes my blood boil:

Question: Why would you choose to opt out of the HOTA?

Benny Tan, 21, undergraduate: "I will opt out because I do not know how my organs will help others, whether it will be beneficial to the right people. There is the possibility that my organs may land up in a bad person's body."

Can you please come up with a less lame excuse? Pfft, undergraduate. -rolls eyes-

Jennifer Chew, 26, a business consultant: "I don't think of the issue a lot because I'm still young and have no health problems. If I need an organ, I would probably travel overseas and buy one or get a loved one to donate."

Prime example of naive Singaporeans who think that money can buy the world. Guess what, its not as easy as going to the hospital and saying, "Uncle, 1 liver and 2 hearts please, got discount anot?" She better don't offend her family members.

In response to the question, "What to do if you are at the bottom of the list for donor organs when you most need one? "

Bernard Tan, 28, Research analyst: "Would it be too late for me to opt back in then?"

... You know that word that starts with the letter S, ends with the letter H and is spelt S-E-L-F-I-S-H?

I just can't believe that these are the responses from people who are socially considered matured. I can understand the fear that some people have, and its okay for you to opt out if you're really scared. But wanting to opt in only when you're in trouble? Thinking that buying one is as easy as going to the market? This really really pissed me off. Don't want just say don't want, don't give some stupid lame excuse. Pui.

Birthday + Repulsive people

2007-03-09T10:52:00.000+08:00

Last week was super hectic, had Hexis on Monday and Tuesday, Kbox with the Jaces on Wednesday, Clubbing with the Jaces on Thursday, Settler's cafe with my homies on Friday and Poly alumni gathering on Saturday. Also, it was my birthday last Sunday! I had three birthday cakes this year, one from mommy dearest, one from Jaces and the last from my dear sisters friends! Will post pics once I have more free time.

I'm getting so traumatized living here. Some people have such disgusting habits, it makes me question their upbringing. Messing up the pantry, leaving the tap dripping, using 45 litres of water to wash 1 shirt and 3 panties, going to the toilet and not washing their hands afterwards, taking out my roomie's wet clothes from the washing machine before its done so that they can use the washing machine. Utterly repulsive. Singaporeans spend so much effort conserving water just so that these creatures can waste them in the hostels? Selfish, ill-bred scum with absolutely no sense of volume control. 没有家教。

SOME TIONG STOLE MY UNDIES!

2007-02-21T03:11:00.000+08:00

Mystery of the Missing Clothing

I wish I could be civilized, but when someone steals your bloody bra, how can you not erupt in streams of potent anger? What the fuck is wrong with you people! Bloody bian tai. Its my bra for goodness sake, my personal belongings. Get your own fucking underwear for the chinese new year.

That person also took 2 of Kexin's skirts. Seriously, GET YOUR OWN FUCKING CLOTHES FOR CHINESE NEW YEAR. Its my nicest bra somemore, in my favourite colour purple. Kanina, I hope the person who took it gets run over by the bus tomorrow. No Singaporean would be in the hostel during the long holidays, so the only people who could have taken it would be.. -nudge nudge hint hint- you should get who I'm pointing fingers at. Somemore I left hostel on a Saturday and I can confirm that there was barely anybody on my level. As such, all the fingers are pointed once again at -nudge nudge hint hint- you should know who I'm looking at.

Too dulan for words. ITS A BRA FFS. BRA. Brassiere! UNDERWEAR! PERSONAL! FOR MY BREASTS ONLY. WTF man. Fucking cheapo.

Tiongs cant cook

2007-02-16T21:22:00.000+08:00

I thought that I was used to the sloppy behaviour of our *ahem* foreign talents residing on the 3rd floor of my block. Afterall, we're all busy with school work. Who cares if the garlic that I'm dicing up lands on the microwave? Doesn't matter if the oil from the frying pan splashes all over the stove. No one would give a rat's ass about the sink being clogged up as we're all too bloody busy to use the rubbish bin located less than 50 cm from the sink.

The point of the matter is, I can live with messiness. Hell, I'm sloppy myself, I haven't cleaned my own room for the last 3 years, save for the time when I had a japanese exchange student at my place. What I cannot stand is the lack of common sense and common courtesy these people have.

Let me tell you about the straw that broke the camel's back. I was happily transferring items on Maple Story as Jewl said she was coming back after driving class to pia maple with me for fun since we all had a stressful week. As I was scurrying around like a hapless hamster stuck in a battery operated wheel, the smell of burning plastic hit me. Being one who have personally burnt 2 pots before, I identified that smell as the stench of burning pot handles. Now, my pantry's stove has a huge fire and if your pot's too small, the flames can reach the pot handle easily. (First hand experience okay?)

Okay, so I carry on with my work since the smell will persist for a very long time, as all odours do. (You know the kind of super chao B.O. you may encounter in the bus and even after the fellow gets down, you can still smell it for the next 10 bus stops?) Fifteen minutes pass and the smell is still there. Due to having inherited my mum's kaypoh characteristics, I decided to investigate. On the way down, the smell got stronger and stronger, nevertheless I pressed on. As I reached the 3rd storey, I saw 2 tiongs go to the toilet and they didn't seem to notice that there was a horrendously strong smell of burning plastic coming from the pantry just 1 metre away.

I entered the pantry, and to my utter surprise, there was nobody in sight. Bingo! My guess was correct. (durrr! First hand experience!) There on the stove, was the pot with a happily smoking handle. I walked closer to see what the bugger was cooking since the lid was the transparent type. Two eggs. So, someone decides that she wants some hard boiled eggs, hence she set a pot on with 2 eggs on max fire and went about her merry business. What sort of bloody moron is that? The pot handle has already turned to ash, except for the top part and the eggs had already expanded so much, the shell had cracked wide open. (See exhibit A below)

Who the hell screws up hard boiling eggs?! Here we are, all university undergrads, capable of solving and evaluating the trickest problems, yet we can't cook to save our lives. I would definitely not be surprised if the pantry caught on fire as the pot handle was red hot.

When things like this happen, I really question the validity of our education. Education without common sense is going to kill tons of people eventually and I'm not joking about this. So what if they get better marks in class when they don't have the common sense to (a) use a smaller fire if they are going to afk from cooking. (b) look after what they are cooking. Don't even get me started on the tiongs going to the bathroom. I can just imagine tiong 1 going, "Hmm, whats that smell?" and tiong 2 replying, "Beats me, must be the weather. Lets go bathe." and the next thing you know, the pantry burns down.

I'll admit that I have my prejudices, but seriously, if that girl's an engineering student, I will not touch anything that she has built or designed with a ten foot pole. Common sense is supposed to be common, apparently they are too special for it. In fact, I wonder if she managed to scald herself because she didn't notice that the handle has already disintegrated on the bottom. Hmm.
PS: I didn't exactly burn the pot handle since I was physically there to lower the fire once I smelt that horrible stench.

Exhibit A:

Note the state of the egg and the lack of water.

The burnt part. The underneath was completely red hot.

Ah lian rant

2007-02-06T16:45:00.000+08:00

-My singlish rant about school, Part II-

Ya you see me blog means I just come back from school lor. Actually is not just come back lah, of course nua a bit first ma. I tell you hor, today damn sian lah, 830 class lor. Sibeh no mood lah. Come back wash clothes cuz the sun so big man, then now gotta go for class again. Tamade. Cannot let me rest one. I only nua for like 1 hour plus lah. Still got so much work to do one. Pui. I need to bathe liao somemore. Where is the time going man, machiam kena flush the toilet bowl liddat.

Okay lah, I go bathe liao la knn. Noodle u suck lah, come back to Singapore you sure become meepok one!

And hor I just come back again lah, this time after meeting that zombie Mike at JP. Kanasai sia, I overheard one mother scolding the kid to make friend with those homework good one. Haiyoh, so terrible. Buay tahan. So young only leh walao, cannot even be buddy buddy with who she want. Not say I wanna say lah, although I know I already say a lot already lor.. But its my blog hor, you dont like also bo wei kong lor.

2007-02-06T08:05:00.000+08:00

-My singlish rant about school, part I-

Walaoeh I tell you arh, so much work to do lor. Next week 3 tests leh. Damn kanasai lah. Somemore I going Ipoh and night cycling on the weekend lor. Where got time man? Those lecturers also gila one, especially math lah. Walao lecture just end tutorial got quiz liao. What is this man? Super sian1/2 lah I tell you, can't even do a single one. Aiyah heck la anything, I also LPPL.

I also dunno why I write this way lah. Just feel like crapping lor. Buay song ah? Not my taiji lah. Maybe cuz I bian bi again. Tamade. Damn sian lor the feeling. Really so full of shit. (no pun intended) Anyway hor, I gotta go liao soon for class. Confirm plus chop late again. Haiz, I too slack liao lah, but I got try to pia okay. Its just that got heart no strength. Hurhurhur. Love chu all beri much lah anyway, more than the tiongs downstairs lor. Oh ya, one last thing. Noodle you bloody suck lah, the thing I buy for you so fast spoil, it flew all the way from Singapore to Aus lor you stupid nehneh. -sad-

Soccer fun

2007-02-04T14:36:00.000+08:00

Watching the Singapore- Thailand soccer match at hall 13 with the rest of the crazy soccer fans is a totally electrifying experience. Despite the utterly disgraceful behaviour of the Thai soccer team, everyone was super high, joking around and trying to see the stupid soccer ball on the small television set at the TV lounge. I've played competitive sports before and I feel that there is absolutely no reason whatsoever that supports Thailand's decision to walk off the field. Ultimately it is not JUST about the winning and the losing. The whole point of the league is to promote sportsmanship and friendship between the ASEAN countries and by walking out like that, they have utterly failed to do so. Thats the whole difference between foreign leagues and the AC. Referees are human afterall and you can't expect them to make a fair decision all the time. It happens all the time, even in the EPL. Everyone fights, argues with the referee's decisions, but they do it after the damn match, not during it. Its nice to win, but there is always something much more important than the scoreline and any sportsperson who doesn't recognize that should not be allowed to play. That was certainly not behaviour I expected from a national team, more of school boys.

The Thai media has also gotten into a frenzy, coming up with headlines such as "Singapore robbed Thailand of victory" and so on, just to sensationalize the news and fire up their country people using such propaganda. I hope that the Singapore team will be safe there. Unless they bribed the referee, I believe that they did not want such an outcome as well at the Indoor Stadium. Even if they won, it was a victory marred with all sorts of controversy and bad blood. Sports should just remain clean with healthy competition, not the cesspool that a bad decision and certain ugly behaviour have created. Oh and lets not forget the damn politics that seem to be creeping into something as innocent as a soccer match between 2 countries. Using propaganda for something else to influence the thoughts of the people on another issue between the 2 countries. Sometimes, I really hate the mass media.

Hall life!

2007-01-12T11:37:00.000+08:00

I didn't know that I was so accident prone until I stayed at hall.. I think in this week alone, I made more stupid mistakes than I ever did in my life. First, I washed my clothes with dishwashing liquid, then I burnt the handle of my pot. After that, I managed to cut myself by forgetting that I'm washing a knife. Oh, and lets not forget sitting on a cracked toilet seat and getting my butt clipped by the damn thing. Hmm what else is there? Oh, I forgot to take the key out of the lock before I went to bed and I spoilt my umbrella by getting it trapped between my toiletries basket. Also, I managed to burn the multiplug when I was boiling water with my kettle this morning. On top of everything, I realised that I brought only 2 pieces of underwear in my luggage, so I had to wash my undergarments every other day so that I can alternate between both of them. What the hell.

But staying here is quite refreshing really, despite all my *cough* setbacks. Its easier to concentrate on your studies since there isn't much you can do anyway. :D

New Beginnings!

2007-01-04T23:19:00.000+08:00

New year, new beginnings! A new outlook on life hmm? I'm in my hostel now, staying over so that we can clean up tmr. Hall 6 if anyone is interested. Directly behind me is Kexin, who is currently frustrated with her LAN settings since she can't surf anything else other than the NTU homepage.

Its been rather eventful so far, we watched Lake House on my laptop while chomping on seaweed biscuits and green tea. Afterwhich, brushed our teeth etc and am now slacking away.

I hope its been an full and happy 2006 for all of you and may 2007 be a year filled with more fun, laughter, love and success for everybody! Do not angst because of the past, savour the present and hope for the future!

Rain rain go away

2006-12-14T17:00:00.000+08:00

Why does it keep raining.. *looks at the sky*

I'm kinda sick of playing ROSE, but I don't wanna go out in the rain. It feels so depressing to go out alone in the rain. Rainy days are best spent curled up in bed under the covers, watching a romantic korean drama with a hot cup of tea next to you. Oh well, guess I'll make a trip to Chinatown later to get some mats for presents. Then perhaps, I'll buy my shampoo which I've been procrastinating for days already. Shopping = money and I'm not feeling very rich these days. <_<>

Why won't it rain money? *looks at the sky again hopefully*

My entries are kinda short because my mind feels totally blank. Its like I'm functioning on a memory control system that periodically erases events of my life. This feeling is rather synonymous with what I felt when I was on Zoloft. Just blank, devoid of emotions, mechanical, robotic. Sorry if I'm a tad angsty here.

In any case, hope Estel's enjoying his Tekong days! I hate NS, they take my friends away.

Updated at last

2006-12-14T00:24:00.000+08:00

Can you smell the six letter word that's UPDATE? -grins-

I felt so horribly depressed during the exam period. Somehow those days seem so far away now that I'm free from the binding grasp of the evil examinations. Its shopping time! Well I've bought only 1 necklace lately, still in search of my new year clothes and other accessories. Now for some shameless advertisement:

Visit Jace Mall and check out our new stuff! Comments and constructive critism are most welcomed! Jace Mall is the brainchild of my NTU pals and we really hope to make it a roaring success. Its not doing too bad now of course, but promotions are always a good thing. I've been brainstorming for some inspiration and ideas for more creative accessories, unfortunately I've absolutely zero talent in such stuff so it just comes a bit slower than others.

In the mean time, I need to get off my ass and do something other than nuaing. Get me out of the house people!

Article

2006-11-21T14:27:00.000+08:00

Oh boy, 111 is over, 4 papers more to go! I'm supposed to be studying for biochem, but somehow my walking fingers led me to the forums of the todayonline paper, the place where you can find grouchy Singaporeans who have nothing better to do. Here's a classic:

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To go or not to go This seat isn't for you, okay?

As part of the current campaign to promote the proper use of English, the following question has been painted across the body of several SBS buses: "Where does this bus go?" While this certainly sounds much better than "this bus go where?", to be grammatically correct, the question should be: "Where does this bus go to?" It's of no use at all having notices in the MRT trains which state: "Please offer this seat to someone who needs it more than you do". This should be replaced with the following: "This seat is reserved for ladies in an advanced stage of pregnancy, or the handicapped, or someone who is 60 years old and above."

____________________

Hello uncle, you think every Singaporean have fantastic English is it? How the hell you want my illiterate father to understand phrases such as "advanced stage of pregnancy". He will probably come back and ask me, "Eh girl, how advance is advance ah? Should I ask her whether she is more than 6 months or what?" And 60 years old and above? I can just imagine this conversation:

Auntie: Boy ah, can I have this seat? I'm carrying a lot of stuff as you can see.
Young man: Auntie you how old?
Auntie: I 59..
Young man: Sorry auntie the notice say that only 60 year old and above can sit.

I'll never understand why is there a need to complicate simple instructions for the sake of technicalities. Languages exist as a form of communication. Although good english is a plus point, Singlish also brings out the local flavour of the community. Of course, it also depends on your target audience. You don't write Singlish or IRC shorthand in your essays, neither do you speak in dialect to a foreigner. As for the writer of the above article, I hope that he was sarcastic, because my sarcasm meter is broken. If not, I think its bloody funny that he thinks his English is so "powerderful" that he feels compelled to write in to edit the notices on the MRT. Goes to show that tinkering with things doesn't always have positive effects.

The mystery of the canteen

2006-10-15T11:47:00.000+08:00

A mystery you say? I've had a great impression of the guys in school. Most of them are helpful and gentlemanly. They'll hold the door open for the females, help us to move the table so that it is closer to the power supply, move aside to let the ladies pass first, et cetera. Which is why I'm surprised to see all that go out of the window whenever I'm in the canteen.

I really wonder if the canteen has some sort of mysterious aura that activates every single dormant kiasu cell in the male body. Lets start with beverages. First, Amanda got hot coffee spilled on her by some Indian fellow. When Amanda looked at him in shock, the bugger just shrugged and walked away without apologizing. Then, Kexin was splashed with ice milo by some Chinese guy. He didn't get a single drop on his clothes because the smarty pants decided to tip his drink the other way, in the direction of other people. Guess what? No apology either.

What can we conclude from the above examples?

1. Its a male thing and not a racial thing. Truly, this phenomenon transcends all boundaries.

2. Its not the girls. Both Amanda and Kexin are attractive girls that can possibly send normal, straight guys into hormonal overdrive.

Now lets go to food. Its astonishing how thick skinned some guys can get. We were queuing in the line for the last 10 minutes and then these 2 guys behind who just joined the queue suddenly went "I think those girls in front cut queue." Cues loud conversation about how females like to cut queue and how often they were disadvantaged by said girls. Of course, we retaliated by talking loudly about how some guys are blinder than the project superstar winner.

Bottomline is, why does food drive guys so crazy that they forget all other qualities for that 1 hour? I hate lunching in school. -takes out her voodoo dolls again-

Leafy Beanie!

2006-10-14T21:16:00.000+08:00

I really really wanna work hard, but just can't make myself do so. Saturday is drawing to a close and yet I'm still engulfed in a drunken stupor. Sigh.

On another note, Mr Bean has LEAVES. =) Enjoy your weekend people. Meanwhile, enjoy some pics. Shitty pics dont appear except the cross dressing man -_-

Some cross dressing old man near bugis

Biochemistry Rage

2006-10-12T12:55:00.000+08:00

I hate it when lecturers don't even bother to remind you that there is a test coming up. Yes, I know all about being independent and such, but would it bloody kill you to just remind your students that there is a test next week as according to the schedule in bloody chapter1? As if anyone would go back to chapter1 to flip through. Stupid beep of a beeping beep.

So tired, 5 weeks more to exams! And I'm so not prepared. Oh my god. I'm heading for a meltdown! Whee! Short entry, but I'm sure it will suffice for now. bb.

10 Things that I hate about You - Fashion Edition

2006-10-02T13:39:00.000+08:00

Dressing up your kids in clothes suitable for a prostitute from Geylang - They don't have boobs yet for christ's sake, what is there to reveal? Stop feeding the paedophiles!

Wearing sexy, skintight tops when you're severely overweight - Faints. Mein eyes! Teh goggles! They do nothing!

Wearing sexy, skintight tops when you're above 50 - Even if you're stick thin, wrinkled, sallow skin is a terrible sight to behold.

Wearing a racer back with a normal bra underneath - Ugly as hell, if you can't afford a cross back or strapless bra, don't wear a racer back tee!

Wearing the belt of your school pinafore on your hips - The pregnant schoolgirl look. Even though I'm from CHIJ, I must confess that they are the ones guilty of it. It looks bloody stupid.

Crocs - They may be comfy as hell but seriously. You just don't wear bright orange crocs with a nice dress.

Big sized girls wearing all black - I know that black is supposedly a very flattering colour. But wearing it from head to toe is kinda overkill. Even though it is harder for us to find clothes that fit, you don't really have to resort to wearing a large black oversized shirt and a long black skirt, complete with black shoes and a black bag.

High socks - We are in Singapore here, not frickking Japan. Its summer all year round. And guess what, my japanese friends wear their socks low, just like the rest of the normal people.

Pretty in pink, not for guys - Whats with all the guys wearing the generic pink tee from pure milk? Did your gfs collaborate with the store to get a 50% off or are you just gay like that?

This is for the ah peks out there: Cut your toe nails please - I'm running out of ideas, BUT it is still gross.

Holidays Holidays..

2006-09-27T12:25:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOD. Its Wednesday! What have I been doing? Lets see.. Weekend - Computer. Monday - Computer. Tuesday - Computer. WHAT THE HELL.

-Panics-

Time to work on my studies! Whee! Maths test and Air Quality test next week. Need to study for 111 and 113 as well since I've been sleeping away in lectures. Screw 121. =x Yay! Wish that I could stop procrastinating.

I seriously think that Aussie gamers are @^#@^%*@&. Argh.

I know my posts are getting shorter and shorter.. but AT LEAST I updated right? Right? Oh ya, and congrats to Hady on winning! -does the pompom dance- Although I must say, the biggest winner of all is mediacorp and all the telcos. And thats why I didn't vote! They are NOT going to get my 60 cents. Nope!

S/U

2006-09-21T10:13:00.000+08:00

The option to S/U has arrived at last, yet I am still unclear whether I should S/U my maths module or not. Sigh. I think I should, but its going to be a total waste. I skipped maths lecture again today. I really don't have any interest in maths at all. It really stinks! Argh. Sigh. Groans.

Internet Rage

2006-09-04T16:03:00.000+08:00

In all honesty, I really don't get it. If someone gives you a gun, you can choose not to fire it at another innocent. Same with the internet. With its seemingly limitless freedom, many think of it as a licence to be an asshole. But does that mean you abso-fucking-lutely must be an asshole online? Some say that expecting decency on the internet is akin to looking for needles in the haystack. Still, whats wrong with hoping that people innately have these qualities? You leave me to my dreams and you can continue your sad, sorry, miserable, pessimisstic outlook of life.

1 test down, 271362789361278 more to go!

2006-09-01T18:03:00.000+08:00

Blog blog blog..

Yeah! The first test of my university career is finally over! I can feeeel the sunshine and the fresh air permeating into my skin now. The last week has been hell, but I'm just so glad that its all over.. for now. Thanks for encouragement and mommy's Brand's chicken essence. >.<

Seems like an eternity since I last met up with the usual bunch. Looking forward to my weekend! Been spending all my free time playing ROSE, which is not really a very healthy way of destressing. I guess I am still kinda hooked onto that mmorpg.

Anyway, its going to be a really short entry because I'm freezing my ass off in the NTU library. Time to go home and go wild! Tata. =)

School Diaries

2006-08-12T13:30:00.000+08:00

Recently, lots of things have happened that has done nothing but to reinforce my belief that people are getting more and more superficial. As much as I would like to elaborate on what they are, I'm afraid that it would just degenerate into yet another angsty rant. Silence is, afterall, golden and no, noise is not fun. I'm just disappointed that even in this era, people are still so afraid to speak out. There is a difference between outright slander and having an opinion. Why are Singaporeans so repressed that they can't even tell the difference? Just because you have an opinion that is negative doesn't mean that it is anti-government. Maybe it is easier to live your life with rose coloured contact lenses on all the time. At least we can pretend that everything is good and that problems can be solved as easily as a click of a mouse button.

But I digress. This is a post about school anyway, and a post about school it would be. Uni life isn't starting out as nice as I thought. Being too complacent, I did not take note of the subtle changes made to my timetable and hence, failed to realize that I was registered for another module. As a direct result of my actions, I missed the first lecture and I have tutorial for that class first thing in the morning on Monday. On top of that, I didn't know about adding on modules and by the time I figured out the intricates of the uni system, all the classes that doesn't clash with my timeslot is full.

Of course, I should have expected something like that. I've let my brain go to mush playing too much Maple. I should have gone for orientation, at least then I wouldn't be like a sotong on rollerskates. I should have been more careful about things like this. Shoulda, woulda, coulda. I'll just have to try my best to catch up with the rest, and put an end to this depressing start. Yes, uni is very different from poly. No more spoonfeeding from the lecturers. Its time to print your own lecture notes, go for your designated lectures, do your own studying and be responsible for your own well being.

That being said, my coursemates seem kinda scary. For starters, they arrive super early for lecture, just to book a good seat. We're talking about the lecture theatre being almost full seated 20 minutes before it officially commences. Everyone has a nice thick stack of notes and they are conscientiously poring through them, even though its the first lesson. Their notes are printed in full colour. I felt like I was totally naked armed just with an empty notebook and a pen. I was dressed in a black blouse and jeans, yet I felt totally overdressed in a room filled with plain t-shirts, shorts and sandals. -Sigh- I shall not start judging people, since I do not know them, but are they judging me? The correct answer is, who cares? Let them have the wrong idea. Tutorial class on Monday is going to be real fun when they find out that I did not attend Thursday's lecture. We'll see how snobbish people can get when they are surrounded by such elitism.

byebye BUTTZ!

2006-08-08T00:48:00.000+08:00

Tearful goodbye

..to our dearest ButteRZ boy! As I type, Pat the Man is making his way to the other side of the world to embark on a whole new chapter of his life. Good luck to you buddy in the States, study hard and play harder!

I just got back from the airport so I'm totally exhausted. I'll probably upload the pictures tomorrow, but we'll see how it goes. Its the time of the year where friends start flying off to never never land. First nood and now ButtZ. -Sigh- How could you all bear to leave cute little me all alone in stupid, sunny Singapore? -pouts-

In any case, it was the first day of school today and boy, was it crowded. I believe I mentioned before that I really really hate crowds. It really got to a point where I felt terribly claustrophobic and wished that somebody had invented teleportation. Needless to say, I felt like I was on the show "Lost" today when I could not find the stupid office to collect the matric card. After bumming around for almost 45 minutes and practically walking around the entire campus, we finally found the place (dear god!)

I wanted to have lunch there too, but it was just too crowded and Kexin was sick, so I lunched at KFC instead. Bad decision as I ate Popeyes not 3 hours later at Changi. I'm sorry but I can't resist the cajun fries, cajun mashed potatoes and awesome coleslaw. Seriously, thats just raw temptation at work and few are immune to the charms of Popeye's.

We slacked around a while more at Pacific Coffee then decided to return home. Yes I know that this entry is degenerating into a day to day event synopsis but bear with me a little, my mind is not really working that well.

I guess the highlight of the day was when we spotted a really pretty girl in the queue at the airport. She was wearing aviator shades, so her face was almost covered, but she was really tall, had superbly long legs, a nice golden tan and long lucious curls. Dressed in a short jeans skirt and a matching jacket, she practically commanded the attention of our entire group for almost 5 mins. Then Kristy said, "Why is she standing with her legs open?", a comment which was promptly followed by the typical "Hurhur she just got screwed" response.

Matt swore that she was a supermodel and that he had seen her before on TV or something. Meanwhile, the guys were still trying to prevent a potential hardon by thinking about Naruto as a drag queen. Then, it happened. Somehow, the eagle-eyed Kristy spotted her going to the toilet. Nothing wrong with that yeah? Nope, except for the fact that it was the "male" toilet that she was going to. She nudged me and we both watched with morbid fascination as she realized her mistake the second she opened the door and walked out rapidly. We looked at each other with dawning realization on our faces and smirked.

Trevor then exploded with a gem that sparked all sorts of controversy by saying, "I knew it, no Singaporean girl could be that chio! Must be a tranny!" (I don't remember it verbatim, but thats the general idea.) Then SOMEONE mentioned that she was standing with her legs so wide open because there was SOMETHING hanging down there still. Something about the entire situation struck me as super funny due to the varying reactions before and after the discovery. Ahh well, Cest la vie.

Many many thanks to DeBuG for helping me fix the problem with the frame width. Please check if you guys still have weird fonts or stuff like that. I really like this layout too much to change it haha. Lastly, since I'm super braindead, I shall go to bed and I'll leave you with this quote of the day: "If you think that you're a smoker, you're not. The cigarette is the one that smokes. You're just the sucker at the end."

School's starting soon...

2006-08-03T15:43:00.000+08:00

School school..

Thats right people, its back! And its bigger than ever! Academic year 2006/2007 is starting with a big bang once again! Who will emerge victorious? Who will be crowned king of the kings? Will there be a major upset? Or would it be a one man show yet again? Find out more about the neverending joys and trepidations as I take you through an exhilliarating ride down the Nile!

Shameless advertisement aside, QET is over and I just received my timetable today. How Lovely? WRONG. Its a shitty shitty piece of timetable that should be buried under the deepest ocean, at an approximate angle of 66.669175 degrees off the core of the earth and guarded 24 hours around the clock by cthulus armed with fancy biological weapons. Why is that so, you may ask. Perhaps its the fact that I take about 45 minutes to get to school from home. A two way trip from school to home and back again would take maybe 1.5 hours. So.. why is it that I have to go to school for a 1 hour class on Monday!!!!

Besides that, my timetable is fine really. For starters, I have a 1 hour lesson on Mondays, a 3 hour lab session on Tuesdays and Thursdays free. Then, I get to go to school on Wednesdays at 0930 in the morning, have classes until 1130 and wait for my next class.. which is at 1630. Did I mention that the last class is 1 hour long? In case you were counting, thats 5 hours in between. Oh lets not forget Fridays, where I have a lovely 3 hour break in the middle of nowhere. It just can't get any better than this, really. Really.

Sad to say, my days of freedom are nearing its end. Good bye my wings, it was good to have you around. I'm sorry that I have to keep you in that dark, dirty box under the lowest rack in my dusty, damp, mildew-filled cupboard. I wish that there could be another way out of this, but I really want you to remember our parting as one filled with endless reluctance. I'll see you in four years.

And grandpa's fine now, thanks for the well wishes. =)

Bad Accident

2006-07-29T23:31:00.000+08:00

Bad Accidents

Finally got home to put on the finishing touches on the blog.. -glares at noodle- If you still can't see then I really need to hire DeBuG to do it for me liao haha. Its terrible when things occur when you least expect it. My mum received a call from my grandmother around 1pm yesterday, telling her to go help my grandfather as the glass table in their house broke. I wanted to tag along as well, but then I'll be late for the NYAA interview.

When my mum arrived, she was surprised to see a crowd at the void deck of the apartment block. Pushing her way through the crowd, she saw my grandfather sitting there as though he is in a daze. Blood streamed freely from the crown of his head and there were shards of glass sticking out of his skin on his back as well as his chest. Needless to say, my mum was shocked. She ran upstairs to grab his identification card and some personal belongings. When she opened the door, she was greeted by the gruesome sight of glass and blood. Apparently, my grandfather's neighbour heard the crash and came rushing to his aid. They took him to the clinic downstairs but somehow, instead of calling the ambulance, they waited for my mum to fetch him.

They hustled off to the A&E in my dad's car and the medical team on standby attended to his wounds, the most severe of which was on the side of his head and another on the back of his head. It turned out that my grandfather suddenly felt giddy and fell backwards onto the glass table in his living room. Further tests diagnosed that my grandfather had diabetes, which probably was the cause of the sudden dizziness. I rushed down to the hospital as soon as I heard the news and was relieved to see that it wasn't too serious. He was warded until this afternoon as the doctor wanted to keep his diabetes in check. Since no one was free this afternoon, I had to handle the discharge.

Its rather worrying as my grandfather has hypertension and had a stroke before. With the added risk of diabetes, the chances of him having another stroke is 8 times higher than before. His diet suddenly became a huge concern for all those concerned and the dietrician gave me a rundown of looking after a diabetic patient.

I guess I was kinda drained after today so I was kinda inattentive when I went out with Mike later. You know, the usual staring into space when I'm talking to you kind of look. My mum went supermarket raiding after work as usual and came back with 30 dollars worth of no sugar products for my grandpa. Mike and I wandered around Great World City, then to Orchard. We visited PC Bunk, just to see what kind of people frequent that place and was vaguely surprised when we spotted a middle age dude playing in the midst of all the teens. I really really hate crowds. Sigh.

Updates

2006-07-28T00:16:00.000+08:00

Return of the Queen

No, its not a parody of Lord of The Rings. I can't believe I actually managed to sit down for 30 minutes to do up this stupid blog again! I sort of lost interest in blogging for a while but I decided to be responsible and fulfil my promises in my first post. -ahem-

In other news, school starts next week. Yahooo! University is going to be so different, and I'm really expecting a dynamic change of pace. However, before school reopens, there are a couple of things I have to take care of first, namely:

Michael's 21st -zomg I am an adult now- Birthday present
Laptop and desktop upgrades and HD formatting
Aesthetics and cleanliness of the pigsty that I call my room
NYAA Interview tomorrow -omg what am I still doing here?!-
QET on 2 August -My English sucks-
Sue jie's awesome chalet next weekend!

Not too bad, considering that I've both interesting and really boring things to attend to. In any case, I have not discarded my old layout, so rest assured Kexin. (Your hard work didn't go down the drain.) Its just that I saw that Weiyan also had the same layout as I did previously so I thought that a change would be nice. I did use another blogskin which I think only Sue saw, but that didn't work out too well thanks to my less than stellar knowledge of html. I'm not a fanatic about this stuff anyway, so I'll settle for the minimal.

I have finally obtained my membership for the SA forums, courtesy of my love. Its fantastic, the content of the site. Tonight, I read a couple of really sad true life encounters, but what really pulled at my heartstrings was the story about the paedophillic boyfriend who violated his girlfriend's 9 year old girl from her previous marriage. To put it gently, the medical checkup revealed that the girl has been anally penetrated. I really hope that if the police doesn't get to him first, some mean ass motherfucker would shoot him in the gut and let him suffer a fate worse than death. Nine years old, for the love of god. Nine.

The number of sick people in this world really amazes me sometimes. Just today, someone by the name of DX52 decided that it would be fun to summon monsters and kill my afk character in town. I came back rolling in my grave and defamed him once. Then I followed him all the way to Victoria Island and realised that he was summoning these monsters at populated newbie places too, just for his sadistic viewing pleasure. I think I defamed the bugger 6 times in total with all my characters, but honestly, I don't think he cares. In fact, I think the bigger issue here is that, why do people feel that anonymity is a licence to be an asshole? The mentality where "If everyone is doing it, then it must be the right thing to do" pisses me off so badly. If I had a kid, I'll slap them silly if they ever came to me with that statement.

But enough of Maple. I'll never understand these people and hopefully, I'll never have the pleasure to work with them. The more you want, the less you get. Let things run their natural course and together with a little compromise, things will work out. Oh and thanks to my dear Rin jie for scarring me with her weapon of mass destruction - WG's blog. Welcome to the 21st century ladies and gentlemen, where makeup and plastic surgery can make someone look fabulous. (In which it doesn't work in NG's and WG's case since they are already so hideous to begin with.) My disdain for makeup is now at an all time high. Behind all those layers of powder and colours, what are you hiding? An ugly personality? A dirty secret? Its a formula that works, and I can only blame the tastebuds of the male anatomy for that. I've tried to stop hating them, but I can't. In fact, they have become my standard example of what not to be. They club, they party, they put on layers of heavy makeup, they flirt ostentiously with all guys, they wear revealing clothes. Sure, they get the attention of the opposite sex, so what? In all honesty, its shallow as hell and I'm so glad that I'm not part of all that rubbish.

In this world where looks are prized, when do you stop debasing yourself? Underneath it all, who are you and what have you become? I can just hear the echoes of the smitten guys going "But you're just jealous". Relationships based on physical attraction can never make it, period. Thats why movie stars are often embroiled in a divorce. Look at Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. Look at Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman. What's happening to them now? Yes, I'm judgemental, but when you put your lovelife on the table for all the world to scrutinize, one cannot help but make an example out of it.

Sigh, I just wish girls nowadays can value themselves not on how good they look but how good they are. Instead of commiting suicide or going for plastic surgery because their boobs are not big enough, perhaps they should spend more time improving on their other qualities that are actually useful to society.

Meanwhile, some random photos..

Carls Jr! Yay! I love refillable unsweetened ice tea! Quite expensive though.. BUT worth it if you drink like 12 cups of ice tea!

I'm so fair and he is so dark.. I'm sorry that its kinda P(G), but I really did NOT think that it would be that obvious until I uploaded the huge version onto the computer. Don't kill me please for exhibiting your packaged "goods"! -grins-

To end my post, pic of baka Mike and me! -Gasp- I'm so ugly, oh noes, what would teh boys say? Does it matter? My blog, my rules!

*** UPDATE ***

I was too lazy to start a new post just to post another 3 more pics, so here we go, Garfield and the 3 stooges!

Singapore Idol + World Cup Fever

2006-06-23T18:04:00.000+08:00

Gambling? Singapore Idol?

Don't test the depth of the water with both feet. Thats a very useful piece of advice for all you gamblers out there during this World Cup season. Speaking of which, I'm sorely disappointed in Michael Owen's kneecap, but I'm still going to support England and hope that Brazil doesn't win. I don't understand why is it that we have to pay to watch the World Cup in Singapore but the Malaysians get free live telecast matches on their tv channels. Television in Singapore is so boring nowadays anyway and it seems that the quality of the local programmes are getting shittier. Its bad enough that they need to copy ideas from other variety shows, now they make people pay to vote. As if its truly fair. In the end, the real winners are Mediacorp and the telecom company, while people like me get to be tortured by the "delightful singing" of certain individuals just because their friends/relatives/parents/fanclub/pet dog is filthy rich.

Take out a sheet of paper and make a list of the tv shows that you watch. My list is as follows:

Desperate Housewives (US)
Grey's Anatomy (US)
Smallville (US)
Charmed (US)
Anime on arts central (JP)
Cookshows on arts central (AU/UK)
新娘18岁 (KR)
大长今 (KR)
猜猜猜 (TW)
娱乐百分百 (TW)
Jacky Go Go Go (TW)
Cartoons on kids central (US/JP)

I don't even bother watching Singapore Idol. If I have to, I'll just catch the results show so that I'll only hear the singing of those who got in. Speaking of Singapore Idol, there was this 2 contestants who dug their own graves last night. I can't be bothered to remember their names, but seriously, when a judge gives his opinion, even if you don't agree with it, you shouldn't say that they are wrong. In fact, that was the only time where I agreed with Ken Lim that your singing really is weak. Confidence is a plus point, but over confidence turns into arrogance. Even my cousin sings and looks better than you. On top of that, during the results show, you said yourself that you didn't try your best and you still had the guts to tell people to vote for you? Gosh, get a life man, people nowadays.

Curry Puff Goodness

2006-06-18T13:29:00.000+08:00

The Best Food in the WORLD

You gaze longingly at the yellow and white signboard as your heart takes flight, knowing that you will be happy again very soon. You take yet another moment to ponder your decision as the angel and the devil battle it out in the deep recesses of your soul. Vicotry was a foregone conclusion and you take an uneasy step towards the artery clogging goodness that is the Old Chang Kee curry puff.

The pocket is one dollar lighter but the golden treasure that lies in your hand brings you joy and an odd sense of completion. Taking a peek into the paper bag, your eyes widen at the beauty of such a delicacy that is fit for the gods. Your fingers peel down the sides of the paper bag, at the same time, inching the curry puff out, so that everyone around you can witness the magnificence of this work of art.

Your hands tremble as you bring the glorious package up towards your mouth. Sinking your teeth into the top corner, your senses overload as the taste of the warm, flaky pastry kicks in. You savour every last bit and stare down at the golden curried potato bits hidden just beneath. Your heart flutters and you take another big bite. The spicy taste of the curried potatoes make you perspire just a little bit. Your tongue separates out the chunks of potatoes and delectable chicken as the aroma gradually overwhelms your self control.

Before you know it, its all over and you find yourself craving for yet another one..

.. And thats how I became fat.

STUPID Suggestions

2006-06-13T17:52:00.000+08:00

STUPID Suggestions

I swear that reading the public forums on the newspapers nowadays can cause massive brain hemorrhage and cardiac arrest. Some of the ideas that some weirdo Singaporeans have.. I wish that they took like 3 days to actually think about the feasibility of their suggestions before putting it down for my poor eyes to see and my poor brain to comprehend.

Not too long ago, some guy said that we should cut down all the trees in Orchard Road so that we can see the beautiful architecture of the buildings along Orchard. I can see the buildings along Orchard just fine, even with the trees and honestly, are they that beautiful? I mean, beauty is kinda subjective. Thats why they have the Esplanade. Some people call it a work of art, others call it the durian, the cheeky ones call it ah gong's hairy balls. As for me, I stand firmly in the house of thought that the Esplanade looks like a housefly trapped in concrete. The point of the whole matter is, I like my trees the way they are, thank you very much but no thanks.

The next thing that I read was about the taxi debacle, where the typical kping Singaporeans with too much time on their hands write in to complain that taxi drivers in the entire Singapore are involved in a conspiracy! They are going to keep off the roads during peak hours so that the poor passengers can't find any taxi around! Lets ignore the fact that it specifically says peak hour. Nope, no can do. We want service and we want it now, says the spoilt brats. Sorry busters, but until someone invents teleportation, or portal scrolls, I am afraid that waiting for your freaking turn is just the way of life since you are obviously too stupid and too cheap to CALL A TAXI!

.. Did I state the solution to all that hooha up there? I think I did, somewhere in the last sentence of the last paragraph. *rolls eyes*

And the next smartass JC punk who comes up with the "Poly students are all bengs, lians, mats or minas" line is so gonna get owned by this ah lian. Grow up, the poly and JC thing is so damn old already.

World Cup Fever

2006-06-10T07:55:00.000+08:00

World Cup Fever

Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the 2006 Fifa World Cup! For all the soccer crazy guys, this is a great opportunity to ignore your girlfriends without the repercussions! Unfortunately, in my case, I'm the soccer crazy one. *pats Mike*

Which is why its damn shitty that on top of the World Cup fever, the cold germs came to visit me and gave me the real fever. Couldn't even finish watching the second half of the Germany vs Costa Rica match. Well at least my prediction was closer than the reporter from the newpaper. I bet 4-1 to Germany and the match ended in 4-2 instead. Naturally no money was involved. What can I say? I'm too cheap.

I love my mummy though, she was mothering me all the way since last night. And she is still sick with cough. Aww.. Anyway, enjoy the world cup people. Its once every 4 years! Go ENGLAND!

Food Adventures

2006-05-28T21:38:00.000+08:00

Food Adventures

I'm back! Back as in from the land of the working class people. I've been working hard, believe it or not. I have quite a few drafts saved, but I wasn't too happy with it and to get right to the bottom of all my excuses, I was too lazy.

I finally have a sparkling new phone, so expect photos from now on, at last. For those who are curious, its the Nokia 6280. Now I don't care what the other people say about this baby, but for a person who have used it for almost half a month now, it kicks ass. Between making video calls with my cousin, going around with my mum for dinner and working my butt off, I've absolutely no time at all for myself. My organizer has ran out of pages at last.. Anyone in SP can get me the SP one? I'm so used to that sleek, black organizer with lots of space to write my stuff in that I think it would take me some time to get used to another one.

Anyway, since I was testing my camera, I got a few random shots of stuff. None of me though, I'm sorry, can't always show off my pretty face can I? I'm sure you will understand. *pats*

Fondue! Mike and I had fruit fondue at Holland Village's Coffee Club. The stupid boy fought with me for the mangoes! Next time we go there, you get to pay for two separate sets. *grin*

Fondue from the top view down. *slurps*

Had dinner with my mommy last Friday! This is what's left of it. I was too hungry to take pictures hahaa. Food's good and cheap! If you remember my birthday party, this is the same caterer, Chilli Padi. They have a restaurant style outlet opposite Bugis Junction (Not the Bugis Village side). The Penang food buffet on weekdays cost $10.80 nett and the high tea cost $5.80 nett. Go try it out if you like!

Yet another restaurant that is one of Mike and my favourites. Fisherman's Wharf opposite Clarke Quay MRT serves great Fish & Chips thats cheap and oh so very fresh. Prices start from $6.50 for a huge portion of fish and chips or frenchfries on the side.

A picture of the Fisherman's Wharf. Nice and cosy with nice lighting and wooden tables. No air con though.

My work! *cries* You slackers, go ahead and suan me now. *takes out a voodoo doll*

My only companion during work. *love* iRiver! Down with iPod! =X

The pen that always and forever goes missing. I think I hanged a sign that went "Lost a pen? Get it from the temp staff's table! She can always get a new one anyway!" This is the third one that I've lost since I've started work. *shakes fists*

And the bonus pic, guess where this place is and win yourself an all expense trip to Hawaii for two. Prizes are subjected to availability. Oh well, I'll just let you have a kiss from Mike. (I see YOU noodle waving your hand madly!)

Next time, I'll try to bring you my baby pictures as well as my cute baby cousins' baby pictures. All the incriminating evidence of them as a kid! MUST SHOW THE INTERNET! Alright I'm off. I can feeeeel the Monday blues already. Enjoy your freedom!

Stupid Buses

2006-04-29T20:52:00.000+08:00

Stupid Buses

Just thought that I might update. Work's going fine, financial closing is up and coming, so no labour's day holiday for my colleagues. Talk about the irony, lol. I've too many "rude people" anecdotes that I find it cumbersome to recall them and post about it. Something about Singapore makes people this way I'm sure. Oh, and I found out another reason to favour intelligence over persistence. Apparently, having some woman pushing her trolley and hitting another individual's legs repeatedly is a great way of getting the her to know that you want her to move and let you pass. Doesn't matter that the width of the aisle barely allows two trolleys to pass by at any one time. Doesn't matter that there is another trolley parked directly adjacent to me. Doesn't matter that any closer to the edge I move, I'm going to fall into the refrigeration compartment. You absolutely must get that special offer deal before anyone else does.

Although these are just mini stuff that seem to gnaw at the edge of your sanity everyday, what I cannot stand is the fact that this week, a grand total of 4 buses have zoomed past me when I wave them down at the bus stop. This prompts me to ask a very critical question: Are my arms too short? No, nevermind that. But the fact that 4 different bus drivers have done the same thing, there can only be two options: One, my arms are really too bloody short in which the case, I'm sure I'm fat enough for the drivers to see my body standing at the usual bus flagging spot from afar. Two, they just plain suck and can't give a damn about the poor passenger to-be. Oh, and they are all from SB*. Great week for me, enjoy your long weekend people and Syl, don't be too cheap with the protection. Tata.

Quick Post

2006-04-17T22:01:00.000+08:00

Quick Post

Just a quick entry since Syl was complaining that I am not blogging. Its 10pm already and I really should be sleeping if I wanna wake up at 5 am and catch the bus to Tuas. Despite the distance, I kinda like my job. Its challenging, in the sense that I am taking on a new discipline that many of my poly friends are interested in - accountancy. Even as an assistant, my seniors have given me some basic insight into this field which will prove to be an invaluable asset in future. Imagine the amount of mail that have accumulated over the long weekend break. I have to sort half of them tomorrow because I was on a training course today provided by the company and thus did not have sufficient time to complete all my assigned work. I hate backdating work! It just piles higher and higher. *sulks*

Speaking of the course, it was quite refreshing to do something which I wasn't as blur in - Environmental, Health and Safety. Its a necessary component for all new staff, temp or permanent. As an engineering company that repairs and manufactures aircraft components, safety ranks very high on the list of priorities naturally. Was quite nostalgic actually. I had wanted to get a degree in chemical engineering so that I could be a safety officer or engineer in future. Oh well. Fires, dust explosions, LOTO, permit to work, Workplace Safety and Health Act etc. Really miss the days when Edison was teaching this subject. I guess I can say that Safety and Loss Prevention is my favourite module during my poly days.

I finally got to test out the sound quality of the iPod nano ever since my terrible incident with rude service staff at SLS. You can test it at Funan Challenger. It was disappointing, to say the least. Proves that just because it is branded, doesn't mean its good. In fact, I would say that the iPod mini has a much better sound quality than the nano. I personally found the iPod nano very un user-friendly, although the buttons were damn cool la. However, for that price, I would rather get something else, like my iriver, which ROCKS. First, the sound quality is not even comparable to my iriver. Second, the screen can be scratched very very easily. The other time when I was browsing the forums to check out the nano, there were many complaints about this. Some say that even putting it into your pocket could scratch it. Thirdly, the extra components are exorbitant. A bloody sock used to protect your iPod nano cost $49. Despite its cool factor, I just don't think its a good buy. No wonder it is the cheapest out of all the mp3 players in the iPod family. You really pay more for the brand than for anything else really. Creative is no better really.

I still love my iriver T10! Its superb, value for money, aesthetically pleasing and extremely easy to use. The only downside is that it uses 1 AA battery as the power source. Still, the battery life is very long. I'm only on my 2nd duracell battery since I bought it and I use my mp3 player everyday: On the bus to work, on the bus home, at night before I sleep, in the morning when I walk to the mrt to catch the bus. If you wanna buy it, go to Song Brothers at SLS. They sell the 1GB one at $250. Challenger Funan sells it at $299.

Okay, time to get to bed.

Tip of the day:

Borrow and Lend may have a similar meaning, however, they are used in different ways. Many people often confuse the usage of these two words, which irks me terribly.

Example:

Correct - Can you lend me 50 dollars?

Wrong - Can you borrow me 50 dollars?

From http://www.eslcafe.com/webhints/hints.cgi?20021120.txt

Lend shows that something is (temporarily) given to another person. Borrow shows that something is (temporarily) taken from another person.
(I) lend ----> someone
someone ----> borrow (from me)

wrong: I borrowed $10 to Jeff.
right: I lent $10 to Jeff.

wrong: I lent $10 from Jeff.
right: I borrowed $10 from Jeff.

Mean

2006-04-06T00:30:00.000+08:00

I'm Mean and I love it

I'm being a mean person and I am doing it on purpose. Why? Because it doesn't pay to be nice. I've been nice all my life and lets see, what did I get? Which is why I am making it my aim to fuck up the lives of all the kids I see in Maple. All the better if they cry. Their stupidity and inability to type a coherent sentence makes them unworthy to even talk to me. In fact, they should be honoured that I am wasting my precious time educating them. The education system can't do a good job anyway. Their parents can't do a good job anyway. Let their kids suffer for all they care. Its their doing. If anyone, blame your mama or papa.

If they had an adequate level of language proficiency, they would be able to defend themselves. Children nowadays are full of themselves and have absolutely no sense of humility. Thats on top of being incapable of basic manners and common sense. Children doesn't mean aged 1-12 nowadays, and thats the sad thing. It even extends to pple aged 18 and above. I'm legally an adult now, so I have the right to say that. If you have the intelligence, you can choose to contest my opinions with facts or with logical opinions. if you have the humility, you can choose to back away from a hostile situation and choose to learn from me instead. However, it takes a really stupid and incredibly moronic kid to contest someone better than you, just for the sake of doing so. Isn't that akin to committing suicide? Your death, your way.

Honestly, I hope all of you just die playing Maple. Save the world some space for those who really need it. You stupid kids are a total waste of Oxygen and Nitrogen. The food used to make you bloody kids so fat could be used on people who truly want to survive in a third world country. The money spent on your education, which imo, is a waste of resources since you are still such a flaming imbecile, could be spent on environmental efforts or humanitarian projects. Don't make me laugh so hard at your feeble comebacks, which soon degenerates into a name calling fest. Just die. Bleed and die. Suffer the pain. Maybe that will knock some sense into you. If not, just die. I encourage you to kill yourself over a game. I encourage you to kill yourself over a broken up relationship. You don't need the pity, because you don't deserve it.

Self Worth

2006-04-05T17:38:00.000+08:00

Self Worth

I've calmed down considerably since last night. However, when I woke up this morning, I could still feel the anger bubbling deep within my very being. After staying in this place for 21 years, I am still wondering if it is all worthwhile. I don't like to be handed the shorter end of the stick all the time. I am a firm believer of meritocracy - I should be rewarded according to how hard I've worked. It makes no sense to me that I've worked so much harder than others, yet I have to stand aside and watch while others who are perhaps luckier than I am, pluck away the fruits of my labour. I guess this whole polytechnic - JC fiasco mirrors the way of life for blue collar and white collar workers. There will always be this form of discrimination. It is part and parcel of life.

I believe I am not wrong to say that in an organization, the workers at the bottom of the hierachy suffer the most as compared to those in a managerial position. They have lower wages, more work, more targets to meet as set by their supervisors, less off days and staff benefits. If the company treats them unfairly, they can't complain to anyone. As what my mum's boss says, "The door is always open for you." Then what? They have no qualifications and at their age, getting rehired is a not a real possibility. Whom can they blame for this? The rich gets richer and the poor? Well you know.

I've studied my ass off in a polytechnic because I prefer the pace. But no matter what, I can never win people who go through the Junior College route. One particular JC student actually referred to Poly students as "2nd rated students". People who echo his sentiments may very well be a minority, but the fact remains, that it is easier to enter University via the JC route than the poly route. I do not think that my polytechnic counterparts are less intelligent. The only conclusion I can think of is that we are getting shortchanged by society. You may be a single pointer who chooses to enter a polytechnic. But in the end, as you see your single pointer peers go through JC and into their desired courses in the University, you will feel the bitterness and resentment as I have.

Leaving Singapore has never been a thought that I've entertained seriously before, but after this, I can't help but feel undervalued by the society here. Enough is enough. I may experience other forms of discrimination overseas, but at least there is an equal opportunity when education is concerned. Because the average Singaporean is narrow minded. JC = roaring success, Poly = failure, ITE = its the end. You can proclaim that this is not how you think, but deep down inside, that is already the impression that you have. If you have the chance, go take a look at those brochures or newsletters about scholarship winners and tell me how many winners are there from a Junior College as compared to the Polytechnics. Education institute discrimination. LOL.

What is my self worth? I will not tell lies. I think I am a fucking intelligent being who possesses an unearthly amount of common sense. I made it through O levels without going to school for 2 years, depending only on my foundation in primary school + lower secondary. I could have gone to a JC but I chose not to. Yet, life keeps choosing to screw me over in my education route. Why should I help this place when it chooses not to help me? I am not a conformist. As much as I think life is not fair, I will not succumb to this injustice. The grass is greener on the other side, and if this country doesn't value students such as me, than I can always seek more fertile pastures somewhere else.

@#@^%&@

2006-04-05T01:27:00.000+08:00

Angry

I'm so pissed. Why the heck did I get into Chemistry when I wanna go to Chemical Engineering? Even with my kind of results, I can't even choose the course I want, then what the heck is the point of studying so hard these 3 damn years? Shit you. If I had the cash I'll go overseas. What the hell. If they like JC students so much for engineering and forfeit the polytechnics students instead then fuck them. Grr. All the JC students need to do is to bloody perfect 3 subjects in 1.5 years. I have to take 39 bloody fucking modules for 3 years. How hard is that? Argue all you want. Your life isn't that miserable, save for the fact that you have to wear uniforms. I don't know what else can I do to get into the course that I want. I studied hard enough to get a GPA of 3.87/4.00. I have a Distinction grade CCA record, which makes up 5% of the component. My O levels are okay, not too good but not too bad either. (R5 15, R4 12, 3A2, 3B3) I have a shining testimonial from my CCA in charge. I got the freaking Model Student Award. What else should I have done to get into my first choice?

If it isn't blatant discrimination than why do I have to work so god damn much harder than an average JC student and I'm still not spared from this system? I feel so angry I can scream. WHY? PLEASE TELL ME WHY. In terms of linguistics, I am definitely fluent in both written and spoken English and Mother Tongue. In terms of engineering principles, I am even better than them, having had some sort of background in poly. In terms of theory, I may lose out a little to them, but I am confident that I can do it. So why. I'm bloody pissed off. Why should I continue serving a country that doesn't give me a fair opportunity to compete on the same platform as others from a different education system. Why don't I just bloody fly off to Australia or America and help their economy instead after I become a successful engineer with one of their instituitions?

RANT! ROAR!

2006-04-03T21:41:00.001+08:00

Idle Boasting

I just had to rant, or else I would spontaneously combust due to the build up of flammable gases within my system.

What is wrong with you fuckers who feel the need to boast about every single god damn thing? Does it feel really good to let people know that you are better than them? Do you get high doing so? What the heck. When I ask an innocent question such as, "I bought XX armour for 99k, is that cheap?" I don't expect an answer such as, "Oh I have it already." Like I bloody care if you have it already, unless you are offering what you have to me. If not, STFU. When I talk to my friend about competitive CS, I don't expect you to butt into the conversation going, "Oh I was also in competitive CS. I got 2nd." Big deal. Like what Kristy said, do you know who you are talking to? Jesus Christ.

Its sad that you have to spend every single waking moment at the computer just so that you have something to boast about. Unfortunately, I'm neither impressed by your fascination with pixels nor your ability to just open your golden mouth and piss off every single person in a 20 metre radius from you. There are millions of people in this world who play the same game as you, do the same shit as you, and still do not feel the overpowering urge to boast about their achievements to every single human being that so happened to talk to them. Unless your self esteem and IQ is way below the standards of an average canine, I suggest you keep your mouth in the same position as the door to an air conditioned room - shut at all times.

Worry

2006-04-02T06:31:00.000+08:00

Worry

The university applications results are just around the corner and I can't help feeling super duperly worried. I am 60% confident that I am able to get in, yet nightmares still plague me every night. Once I close my eyes, I'll dream of the university letter going, "We're sorry, you have not been accepted.." Mike has pointed out that it was technically impossible for me to not be able to get in since he has already gotten in with his so-called less than ideal results. Yet, I'm still not convinced. I've been waking up unusually early, even when I've taken prior medication. My illness isn't getting better as a result and I can't do anything to stop it.

So yeah, will the letter of doom please be delivered earlier? I hate this uncertainty. Wherein does my future lie? Is there an open path in front of me to take? I don't know how people can just.. live life by counting the days, forever waiting aimlessly. (for what?) There is always something to look forward to. It is whether you want to take it to a higher level or just be content with what you have now. Its a decision which takes determination and only when you dare to take that step out, then you will have something to look forward to. Things don't just happen for a reason. You can't expect to see results immediately after the very first step you take into the wilderness, waiting a while to catch a glimpse of the kind of monsters that will attack you and retreat immediately back into the safety of the town. I'm talking about casting yourself deep into the recesses of the jungle and surviving all the way until you discover a land filled with the richness of your dreams and desires. Every step that you take, is taken in the hopes of becoming a better person.

If everyone was to sit on their hands, thinking that one person is unable to accomplish anything, then who is going to farm the crops, build the bridges, construct the highway, drive the school bus and cook the meals? Take away that defeatist attitude before it takes you away from this earth.

End of rant, back to the sick bay. Blasted cold germs, shoo!

Filler

2006-03-29T23:37:00.000+08:00

Filler

Sorry for the long absence, been feeling really lethargic lately. Well, I'm finally blogging, while watching Kexin do the first jump quest in sleepywood. I think I'm a freaking sadist, lol. She keeps dropping down and everytime she does that, I have the urge to press the f2 smiley. My results were nothing phenomenal, but I'm glad that at least they are fairly decent! I maintained my GPA at 4.0 this semester! Hohoho. Anyway, university admission doesn't go by GPA.

I'm kinda, just tripping around nowadays. I don't even know what day it is today! Excuse me, I'm kinda high. Really wanted to level up tonight, but some guy was stalking me in Maple. -_-" It has been a pretty eventful day. Okay, will blog soon again. Sorry for it being short. My brain is screaming in pain now. tata.

quiz

2006-03-27T16:59:00.000+08:00

You scored as Linguistics. You should be a Linguistics major!

Linguistics

92%

English

83%

Chemistry

83%

Engineering

75%

Dance

75%

Biology

75%

Sociology

67%

Philosophy

67%

Mathematics

67%

Journalism

58%

Psychology

58%

Anthropology

58%

Theater

50%

Art

42%

What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3)
created with QuizFarm.com

Irresponsibility

2006-03-22T09:31:00.000+08:00

Irresponsibility

I hate the SAS system. I'm trying to check my results and its still lagging until now. When they consolidated the SPEED system together with the other enquiry services, they should have ensured that the end result would be better, not worse. I think I'm just going to check my results tonight or something.

While waiting, I read the online newpaper and there was this article about a little boy, only 8 years old, who had to buy drugs for his drug addict of a mother. I don't know why I feel so strongly about it. Its really really sad, the poor boy doesn't even get recess money from the mother. Instead, he has to beg strangers for money to feed his mother's drug addiction or she will beat him. I think the most forlorn part of the entire thing is when he was asked about his ambition, he said that he wanted to be a pilot, so that he can fly away from here and never come back.

What kind of mother are you? He is only 8 years old. What did you even do for him besides give birth to him? How could you do such a thing to your own flesh and blood? He was part of you for 9 months! To treat him this way, its just irresponsible. Just last night, an online friend of mine was telling me some rather shocking details about his family background, which accounts for his independence. He has been working and studying for such a long time now, just to support himself. I salute you people who have the determination to come through ordeals such as this. Usually, in such cases, the child either becomes a social delinquent or a polished star.

I'm thankful for what I have, but I still feel a sort of emptiness in my being. Like something is missing. Why? I have caring parents, a loving boyfriend, close friends and a whole bunch of acquaintances. I met another person in Maple last night. He said I was gullible because I helped everyone in Maple without knowing if they are good or bad. I told him this, "If I think everyone I come across is bad, then I will always be alone. However, if I take the chance and help others, who knows, I may gain a friend in return."

I can't stand people who play games just like how they do in real life. When they meet unreasonable people in a game who spoil their fun, they just shrug it off and say, thats life, its unfair, deal with it. I don't get it. Its a game, an escape from reality. Why the heck do you want to play a game where it mirrors the poor behaviour of real life? Haven't you had enough of such people in real life? Why can't I expect perfection in a game? There are gaming communities who do not have rude and inconsiderate people in the game. Its not merely an impossibility. It all depends on the general mentality of the people in the game. In fact, its people who attitudes like yours that allows these inconsiderate acts to run rampant. If everyone escapes the problem and pretends that its just part of "life", nothing gets done, nothing will change, "life" will still go on. Soon, they will learn to accept the problem, like chronic rheumatism, and shrug it off as something that occurs to everyone as they get old.

Why can't we change the world? All the power in our hands and you people only think about "thats life"? No one said its going to be a smooth sailing ride down the Nile, but is it too hard to even try? Just by changing a mindset, many things will change as well. The power of one isn't much, but if a majority of the community is willing to work towards a common goal, I believe that it still can be done. And I'm not even talking about real life here. Its only the gaming world, a facade of real life. To escape from the problem by ignoring it doesn't make it go away. Its irresponsibility.

Irresponsibility. Its such a big word that even I feel unworthy of using it. After all, who am I to judge others? Seriously, everyone gets judged by each other. The whole "Who are you to judge me" is a hypothetical statement that allows people to feel that they are in control of their own life. However, if you look at it objectively, the way we behave, the clothes we wear, how we present ourselves in public, isn't that just because we don't want to be judged negatively by others? In essence, we already know that we will be judged, because we are also judgemental. Its a sort of cycle, if you get what I mean.

I know I complain a lot in this blog, maybe because I tend to analyze bad things that happened to me instead of the good stuff. Happiness is a blessing, there is no point thinking too much about it, but just to accept it as it comes. Just yesterday, I got so cheesed off by these two service personnel at a shop in Sim Lim Square on the 6th floor. We were looking around for mp3 players and we wanted to listen to a demo of the iPod nano to find out whether it has good sound quality. The shop whom we asked said they didn't have a demo, but we could go to another shop for the demo. Thinking that they were of the same company, Mike and I went up and he asked the staff there. After Mike asked them for a demo and told them that a shop referred us here, the bugger spoke to us in an interrogative tone. That was when I realised that they were two separate companies.

Mike: Hi, I would like to ask if you have a demo if the iPod nano.

Asshole: Why?

(me thinking: duh, cuz we wanna buy one? don't test how to buy?)

Mike: Oh, we want to test out the sound quality and see how it compares to other mp3 players before making a decision. Another shop referred us to you.

Asshole: What shop? Which one? We only do demos for our customers.

(thank you Captain obvious! The moment we walked into your shop, regardless of whether we were referred to you by another shop, WE BECAME YOUR FUCKING CUSTOMERS. )

Mike: I don't know, so do you have a demo or not?

Asshole: If you are our customers we will do for you happily, but why should we do for another shop?

(I don't know whether you are just brain dead now or born stupid really, did I ask you to do it for the other shop? Obviously you don't know how to use an advantage to your benefit. )

Then, I cut in, cuz Mike was being too fucking polite to this asshole and I couldn't stand him.

Me: So, how much do you sell your iPod nano here?

Asshole: $239. What the other shop quote you?

Me: Oh, they quoted $234.

Asshole: Oh, its only a $5 difference. You do realise that demos are not a good representation of sound quality? Like lets say I have a $300 headphone and I listen to a song thats encoded at a higher quality, the sound will be better than normal.

(PLEASE. Spare me that crap. The last thing you should ever bloody do is to insult the intelligence of your customers. They want a demo, give it to them or tell them that you don't have it. What the fuck. )

Mike: So are your mp3s encoded at 320 kbps?

Asshole: Ya, we have.. alot of kbps.

( He actually said "alot" HAHAHA. Means he doesn't know whats the maximum. HAHAHAHAHA. )

Me: So, are you going to show us a demo?

Asshole: If you're not buying from us, then we can't.

(Please tell me what kind of reasoning is that? If every shop had a demo and they insisted that once you listened to it, you have to buy their product, then they will be rich. You have no right to insist that I buy your product as long as I listen to a bloody demo tape. It all depends on how persuasive you are as a salesman.)

Me: Okay, thank you.

In all honesty, I don't mind paying $5.00 more, if he gave a good demo since I was quite set on the iPod. Its okay, its just $200 bucks anyway. I'm sure their shop makes a whole lot more money than that based on their lousy customer service. Please tell me why do I want to even give you my business when you speak to me like you are interrogating a criminal? If thats your normal tone of speaking, change it. I don't know who the hell in the world likes to be treated like a bloody criminal when they are the ones giving you the money, not the oher way around. You are not the only shop in the entire SLS who sells iPod nano. You have the authority not to do our business, that much I give you, but you are the one losing out thats all. Its your reputation that suffers, not mine. I don't know why the shop below referred us to you. Take it up with them if you wish, but don't bloody ignore the customer's request. In essence, they are giving you the business. Why would they refer potential customers to you if you are not from the same company as them anyway? Baffling, really.

Hence ends my complaint! Why do I always meet people like this who ruin my day. *sigh* No wonder Singapore ranks so low on the customer service bar. All it takes is for a tourist to walk into a shop like this and get cheesed off by their attitude. Oh wait, doesn't apply to angmohs, because in all probability, if an angmoh walked into their shop, they would probably act like cute little lapdogs who are willing to run around in circles just for the amusement of their targetted customers. Why? US dollars smell better than SGD is it?

Interlude

2006-03-21T21:35:00.000+08:00

Interlude

Sorry, I have quite a lot of topics to blog about, just, don't have the mood because of certain things. Tomorrow, results will be out, good luck to all of my poly friends! Thanks for just being there these 3 years. Another song for you guys, 我还记得 by 梁静茹.

我还记得

十年后的今天遇见你

年少轻狂已远去

成熟稳重也保持距离

沉默里千言万语

时光回到那年夏天

公车站前你笑容满面

拍拍我的头说“你好吗？“

一句问候甜满清晨

别人的话都听不见

岁月凝结在你的视线

我还记得那年倾盆大雨

狼狈奔跑穿越几条街

握紧的双手为爱的不顾一切

我还记得那年你的声音

耳边回荡那一句誓言

你吻我的脸

都是我心中收藏一生的快乐

渐渐我们都有新朋友

多久不再并肩走

忙忙碌碌看人生匆匆

忘记了年轻的梦

好想回到那年夏天

教室门前你笑容满面

拍拍我的头说你别哭

考坏一次不是末日

未来还有很长的路

我们要一起去看世界

我还记得那年晴空万里

那一道飞机蕴的弧线

蜿蜒着思念

写下故事的终结

我还记得那年你的年轻

刻在从前最美的时间

在我生命里

你不曾告别

不曾走远

与你重逢前一个夜晚

梦是在梦中上演

重要去体验只是人生的残缺

我还记得那年晴空万里

那一道飞机蕴的弧线

蜿蜒着思念

写下故事的终结

我还记得那年你的年轻

刻在从前最美的时间

在我生命里

你不曾告别

不曾走远

STUPID

2006-03-19T21:21:00.000+08:00

My Rant about STUPID People

I'm going to rant about stupid people again. If you're not interested, no one is stopping you from clicking the "x" at the top right corner of the window. This is my last warning to you! *bites*

Did it not occur to those stupid kiddies that there are people older, wiser and perhaps 10 times more intelligent than them trying to enjoy the same game? Oh nonono, I've come to realise that its not the kids. Its the bloody parents. Thats right, I hate you parents who can't bloody educate your own children. Instead of taking them in hand, you give them loads of money to splurge on a stupid game. Thanks to your stupidity and inability to properly raise kids, I have to be constantly terrorized by these menaces who think that they own the world.

For the love of god, don't have kids if you can't fucking bother to give them the necessary care and concern. There are such things as birth control devices now you know? Its 99.9% safe (or so they claim) and it cost just $3.00 for 3! If natural selection had its way, Singapore's population will be halved by now. And that includes you stupid parents as well. I don't care if you're a successful big shot engineer/teacher/businessman/hooker/pimp. You are a bloody failure if your kid is one.

In any case, for all aspiring parents, here is a flow diagram to help you come to a decision. drew it out myself leh! Grr..

New Layout

2006-03-17T23:28:00.000+08:00

New Layout

Superstar has left the planet and in its place, nature is revealed! *Ding Ding*

A refreshing change I hope. Kexin the queen of boredom chanced upon this blogskin and thought that it looked pretty funky. Since she has just changed her blogskin and doesn't want to risk to anger of certain individuals, she decided to customize my blog for me. I hate doing the template and stuff, so thanks to her, everything is nice and dandy! All my gratitude in the world doesn't stop me from scolding you though. Get a new hobby! A new hobby like cleaning my room would be nice, hehe.

Tomorrow, I'll probably be going night cycling with the CYAs. We'll be cycling from East Coast Park to Changi Village for Nasi Lemak and gays. teeheheee *rubs hands together in glee*

Sorry, nothing much to post today. I'm having an overdose of writing as I've been busy putting my fiction together. Meanwhile, here is a song which I'm addicted to at the moment. Its not a very new song, but all the same, its still nice. Good night, sleep tight.

Spring Cleaning Time

2006-03-16T14:46:00.000+08:00

Spring Cleaning Time

Time check: 2.46pm. Great, I just woke up. There goes my spring cleaning plans for the morning! If time could just come to a standstill.. *borrows a timeturner* I hate racing with time, cuz you will always lose. Its so futile. Anyway, spring cleaning is a term that does not exist in my vocabulary, possibly why my room resembles a pig sty that hasn't been washed for a few centuries. Kexin was comtemplating the possibilities of coming over to my house to play Maple. As I nodded away happily, I was panicking like mad inside. Sorry girl, remember the state of my room few months back when you came over? Imagine the same thing, except 10 times messier. Thats the state it is in now. I haven't got the time, or more like, haven't got the mood to pack my stuff ever since the examinations ended. Ya I'm bloody lazy. Look on the right under "Things I dislike". See the word "Sloth"? That, was meant for myself, I hate this aspect about myself but there is nothing I can do without the correct motivation.

Went downtown after the library chat session to get some stuff for someone. On my way there, SOMEONE called and asked me if I wanted to watch a free movie. I snapped up the offer at once and rushed down from Great World City to Shaw Tower. I caught bus 16 when I realised that this bus could go direct to Shaw Tower! As I happily patted my imaginary back, my joy turned to sorrow when I realised that the stupid bus was travelling in the opposite direction. No choice but to execute Plan B, that was to take an MRT to Bugis and run like a madwoman down Tan Quee Lan Street to Shaw Tower. Almost got knocked down by a few cars who honked like anything at me. Hey, blame the LTA for placing the traffic lights so far away from where I am!

Reached the place in one piece or two, if you wanna count my bag and I as separate entities. Kexin and Jan were waiting at Starbucks already. I bought a regular popcorn coke combo before entering this massive cinema with a screen that was too small compared to the capacity. Nonetheless, we sat down and started on the popcorn. I ordered a mix of sweet and salted popcorn as Jan liked salted and I liked sweet. Somehow I kept getting the salty ones, which were, true to their word, really bloody salty. Jan on the other hand, kept getting the sweet ones. We were both complaining about the stupid popcorn when I suggested that since we kept getting what we didn't want, we should exchange. So Jan handed me one that he picked out. It was SALTY. ARGH! Stop fooling around, god! I gave up my elusive search for the sweet popcorn soon after and concentrated on the movie instead.

The movie we watch was 2 become 1, a chinese movie featuring Richie Ren and Miriam Yeung. The movie was a lighthearted comedy with an underlying message about breast cancer, breast size, and all other things to do with the female mammary glands. Being a typical Hongkong production, it had the usual stereotypical storyline, which was tolerable at best. The movie was probably originally in Cantonese and dubbed in Mandarin as Richie Ren 'spoke' Mandarin in this ABC accent. (ABC stands for American Born Chinese btw) An enjoyable movie overall, but I wouldn't pay $9.50 to watch it on a weekend.

Went home to catch 大长今 on Channel U. Missed America's Next Top Model as I couldn't be bothered to watch it anymore. Sean called as usual around 10.30pm. I'm glad that he is happier now, but somehow I'm afraid I don't know how long this kind of happiness lasts or even still, what is the reason for this. I was walking home from Tiong Bahru MRT and on the way home, I really wondered, is happiness such a complicated concept that some people can't find it, no matter how hard they look? I believe that contentment is a sort of happiness, I believe that love will find you if you are not looking too hard for it. I guess its the way chance works. The more you try to look for it, the more it hides from you. At least if I don't expect anything, andif I do get something in return, it will be nice surprise. Learning to let go of everything to gain happiness. Such an abstract concept? I won't pretend that I'm happy, but at least I am not sad. Or am I?

Going Out

2006-03-15T13:26:00.000+08:00

Going Out

Its 1.26pm and I'm still sitting in front of the com, teeth unbrushed, hair uncombed and dirty. Gotta go do all these by 1.30pm or I will be late for the 3pm library chat + tea session in SP. I wonder why is it that I'm feeling more relaxed than I have for days. Yes, there are things that are yet to be done, but when I woke up this morning, I just couldn't be bothered with it. Do I need to prove anything to anyone else other than myself? Thats the crux of the inner battle I was having with myself last night. Talking always helps, even if I'm just talking to myself.

Being in a relationship, is it really that important? The imaginary feeling of having someone you can depend on, even though you know it is not true. Being dependent on another. Being weak. Feeling insecure all the time. Is it worth all this anguish? I hate getting phonecalls from you when you tell me about how good other girls are. Do you think I am that secure of myself? Or do you think that you have provided me an adequate feeling of security based on your words and your actions. If you answered "yes" to both questions, then you are sadly mistaken.

I am not as strong as I appear to be. We are both trapped in an illusion, where we have false expectations of each other. Its been so long, I've been so weary of this fear and the comparison. Is it fair to me when you constantly compare me to others? Is it fair to me that I have to be fearful of you finding another? No, its not fair, but life isn't fair. Life is a never ending boat ride down a meandering river. If you are lucky, you get to travel in a cruise, if not, you'll just end up with a sampan. Who is to dictate who gets which? God?

Celebrations and Realizations

2006-03-15T01:16:00.000+08:00

Celebrations and Realizations

Happy Birthday to Twin1 and Twin2! Although it is belated, I hope you enjoyed your birthday celebrations that we had today, just for you okay? Well, the celebrations wasn't very fancy, just a simple dinner and chitchat session later. We had dinner at Ajisen Ramen at Scotts Shopping Centre. Being the cam whore, Kexin was thrilled to discover that the restaurant had an entire panel of mirror on the wall behind where we were seated and that the twins brought their digicam. Experience will tell you that digicam + food = photos of yummy food for future reference. We then proceeded to test out various camera tricks using the mirror. The food was plentiful but since all of us had small tummies, we could not finish it. I was trying my best to finish my stuff because it was so expensive. Or maybe its just the fact that I treasure my money more now that I'm facing a financial crisis. In case you were wondering, nope, didn't make it. *smiles*

Due to all of us being jobless and on a tight budget, we opted to go to Macs for a post dinner talking cock session. We just sat there and talked, mostly about Maple and sex. Someone said something like, SP develops superstars but NYP makes pornstars. Its mean, but it is kinda funny. Okay, I have a weird sense of humour. Whatever the case, I had a great time at Orchard today, thanks guys and girls!

Speaking of Orchard, I've been going there quite frequently and I'm wondering why are there more people nowadays wearing a disgusting combination of pink and orange? Thats just so totally yuck. Its bad enough that I see an alarming increase in the number of people clad in pink from head to toe and I'm talking about pink hairclip, pink earrings, pink jacket, pink pants (she tailor made it or someone actually retails pink pants?!) pink shoes and pink bag to complete the ensemble. I know my fashion sense is nothing to scream about, but seriously. SERIOUSLY!

Besides my morbid fascination with people and their fashion, I've come to realise that I'm wasting my time this holidays! *sigh* Time to buy newspapers tomorrow and look for a job. Results are coming out on the 22nd. Not looking forward to it at all. I know its a short entry, but my mind is in too much confusion to actually post anything sensible.

To my friends studying abroad and in National Slavery, tonight is a night where I dedicate my thoughts to you. Whenever you're feeling dejected or just plain tired of everything, I hope that you will remember that there is someone here in Singapore whose thoughts will always be with you.

To everyone who has touched my life, classmates, friends and lovers please forgive me for my wrongdoings and lets look onwards towards the future. This is a song that I would like to share with all of you, sing along if you know the tune. The lyrics are especially meaningful. You can listen to the song here: http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/63323ht.htm

Enjoy.

Our Lives by The Calling

Is it love tonight

When everyone's dreaming

Of a better life

In this world

Divided by fear

We've gotta believe that

There's a reason we're here

'Cause these are the days worth livin'

These are the years we're given

And these are the moments

These are the times

Let's make the best out of our lives

See the truth all around

Our faith can be broken

And our hands can be bound

But open our hearts and fill up the emptyness

With nothing to stop us

Is it not worth the risk?

'Cause these are the days worth livin'

These are the years we're given

And these are the moments

These are the times

Let's make the best out of our lives

Even if hope was shattered

I know it wouldn't matter

'Cause these are the moments

These are the times

Let's make the best out of our lives

We can't go on

Thinking it's wrong

To speak our minds

I've gotta let out what's inside

Is it love tonight

When everyone's dreaming

Can we get it right?

'Cause these are the days worth livin'

These are the years we're given

And these are the moments

These are the times

Let's make the best out of our lives

Even if hope was shattered

I know it wouldn't matter

'Cause these are the moments

These are the times

Let's make the best out of our lives

Limit Break

2006-03-13T03:13:00.000+08:00

Limit Break

Gosh, I haven't slept for almost 36 hours and I can't believe that I actually survived going out to orchard for the entire day. Met Kexin in the morning to pass her make up. Unfortunately, Heeren wasn't open yet so the silly girl decided to just change into her t-shirt in front of N.Y.D.C. After changing her clothes, it was time for makeup! Without a mirror however, it was hard for her to do it. In comes the good friend cum awful part-time makeup artist! 2 idiots standing in front of N.Y.D.C, putting on makeup. Hahaha, thank god I'm super thick skinned or I would have bolted long ago.

Soon, Kexin went off to start work and I headed off alone to Burger King at Cineleisure for some scrummyliciously delish croissant'wich with ham. The stupid me forgot to bring BK coupons, so I had to buy the more expensive version with a tiny cup of ice Milo. After eating, I felt so terribly sleepy and attempted to fall asleep, all the while smsing my dear jie Kristy, who wanted to come to town and get her friends some birthday presents. Just went I fell asleep, I felt someone hug me. OMG! Nah, its just jie, who had just arrived. We headed to Long John Silver, where she had lunch, some funny meal with 3 pathetically small pieces of prawn. We went up to "More than Words" to look around. Jie commented that her friend was a really traditional pragmatist, so he asked for a pen, which could be used. Browsing through the pen section, I saw this pink coloured pen with like 8 different colours and a mechanical pencil. Jie decided to get it for him, just for laughs since it was rather cheap. Sadly, she didn't buy the pink coloured one with kitten designs all over but opted for a blue one instead. She got another lovely pair Angel earrings for another friend and then we went off to Marina Square, where we had planned to meet Sue jie.

My shoes were killing me by then, so imagine my happiness when I saw ripple flipflops at Ig's Heaven where we were shopping for gifts. Yeah its the 2nd pair of flipflops I got this week, but you can never have enough flipflops. I could basically hear my feet sighing in relief as we headed over to GV to check out if they had Brokeback Mountain. Hot guy on guy action! Woot! We were disappointed to find out that there wasn't any movies available so we decided to just chill somewhere. There was a nice comfy lounge at GV so we just sat there, watching trailers. The Ice Age 2 trailer was awesome! I just simply love that wacky nutjob of a squirrel and his obsession with his acorn. Hilarious! Needless to say, I fell asleep for almost half an hour, in front of all the movie goers. It wasn't until Sue came when I woke up. Sue was super hungry, so we headed to Genki Sushi downstairs to grab a bite.

Well, lets just say that the experience wasn't very good. First, the lady who served us was kinda rude, her tone seems to be implying that we can't afford to eat here. Then, they forgot our bloody orders. Poor Sue jie was so hungry, she kept on ordering sushi. Naturally, Kristy jie wasn't too happy about it and she told us about stories where she plain terrorized rude staff. I particularly liked the one where she was in the Gold card line at GV and the staff went, "Sorry, this line is for Gold card holders only." Kristy just saw red, but kept her cool and went, "You're right, I don't have a Gold card, but I have a Platinum card and I want to see your manager." Isn't that just SO cool?? Way to go!

We got into our girl talk mode as usual and traumatised the family behind with our sex talk. Hey, your kid will learn about the birds and bees soon, so stop staring at me to tell me to shut up! The topic moved on guys and stuff and having just watched Lovers in Paris, I can't help but feel that every guy should aspire to be an ideal man. But first, what is an ideal man? Ki Joo! Sorry, but its true. *swoons* Okay, I'm officially in love with an on-screen character, somebody please shoot me. I like my man to be assertive, confident, possess strength of character, gentle, gentlemanly and masculine, with just a little touch of shyness. Rich is a plus point, good looks are not necessary, as long as he looks dignified, thats good enough.

On the way back, Kexin asked me to bring a change of clothes for her. I reached home, packed everything and fell asleep on the floor. I'm kinda worried for her honestly, cuz staying at Orchard isn't a very safe thing to do, even in a group. I tried calling her to find out if she was still around but she didn't answer my phone at all. Stupid girl, dont know what she is doing. Pick up my phone you baka! Grr!

Lovers in Paris

2006-03-11T21:39:00.000+08:00

Lovers In Paris

I finally got my paws on this korean drama! I know I'm slow and that it is already showing on channel U. However, I prefer to watch dramas at my own time, own target so as to slowly savour the plot and the characters. I've just finished watching the first disc and it has already been very promising, no wonder my aunts and my mum are so hooked on this one. Its even better than Winter Sonata! Hmm, okay, so both are kinda appealing in their own way. I have to say that kdramas have a MUCH better storyline in general as compared to jdrama. I can still remember how furious I was after watching the last episode of Love 2000. On the other hand, kdramas are serious tear jerkers. Another 19 discs more to go! 19 hours more of kdrama marathon! Whee!

Tissue box - checked

Filled water bottle - checked

Back up generator and UPS - checked

Lights off - checked

Pillows - checked

Full blast ahead...!

Okay, I just "scanned" through all 20 discs and as a result, I'm still awake at 6.30am. Well, I did plan to sleep, but as it reached 3am, I decided that I will definitely be late to meet Kexin tmr at 9am. The things I do for my friends! hahaha! So 伟大 right? I will definitely rewatch it properly the next time. *sigh* The story started out great, but once the other guy came in, I just couldn't watch him anymore. I skipped through all the parts that included him and only watched the parts that were more exciting and the Ki Joo - Tae Young moments.

In the entire show, even though it focuses a lot on the love triangle, it just doesn't seem to fit. Compared to Winter Sonata, Lovers in Paris seems more like a normal relationship with an infatuated 3rd party whose sole intent is to sabotage the relationship. Right from the beginning, it was fairly obvious that Tae Young only treated the other guy (Sorry, I dont even remember his name) as a friend. Even when he knew that, he couldn't accept it because hey, it doesn't matter what the girl thinks, as long as I like her, I will fight for her. BULLSHIT. If she doesn't like you, back off. If its not meant to be, it won't be. Too bad life sucks for you. He is a pitiful sort of character, but somehow the way he tries too hard to woo Tae Young puts me off. Since when can you force someone else to reciprocate your feelings anyway? We are talking about the matters of the heart here buddy, not just a game of monopoly.

Basically, this kdrama has almost the same plot and character outline as most of the romantic dramas out there: Tragic female lead, rich male lead, scheming family who usually owns a company, devious 3rd parties for both the female and male lead. Halfway through, I really thought I was watching Stairway to Heaven because the other guy in Stairway is also the son of the company. The scenery was excellent though, Paris is a great place! The music complemented the different scenes perfectly, a total visual and aural enjoyment.

Did I mention that I love the couple! They are cute together, even though the guy isn't the typical boyish looking handsome boy that most kdramas have. He is just so suave and gentlemanly, my mum was right in saying that its a fairytale come true kind of story, because such men don't exist in reality. Oh, and I'm like, really, fascinated with his dimple in one cheek! Everytime he smiles I can't help staring at him. I used to think that dimples weren't such a big deal, but I think I'm half wrong. Its not a big deal for girls, but dimples on guys, now thats a killer. One sided dimples are soo sexy too! Okay, I'm way off track, but can you blame me? He is the ideal guy and I think the majority of females will agree. Rich, smart, a little shy, plucky, cute, suave, gentlemanly... the list goes on. He just oozes this sort of nerdy sex appeal(I know it sounds really wrong).

I don't think I need to add on anything else about the girl since there is nothing not to love about the girl. Even the clothes they wear in the show are rather nice, except for the polka dotted clothes after they got engaged. Looks like what my mum wore back when I was 5 years old. They acted well too, the bad girl managed to get me to hate her, just like the other bad girl in Stairway to Heaven.

The only thing that I thought could have been improved was the interaction between Tae Young and Ki Joo. Even though its part of his character, does he really have to act so wooden around her even after declaring that he is wooing her? I'm looking for more heart wrenching dialogues and more touching words, maybe a few more kisses. And is it just me or what, but their kisses look so fake. Its not really a "kiss" kiss but a "let-me-press-my-lips-on-yours" kiss. Argh! Come on! Keeping it chaste is one thing, but invoking the passion is another. Its a drama! Even anime has more realistic kisses than that. Hence, for the romance factor, I still think the Stairway to Heaven's was way superior.

I think there is something that korean women like about being treated roughly by the guy. Oh, I have stars in my eyes cuz my guy is physically dragging me away from a confrontation. I guess they like their men really manly or something like that. I think its quite nice though, in the case of kdramas, rough men usually are over protective of their girls. How I wish that I was over protected by my bf.. *stares at Mike* There was these 2 scenes in particular where Ki Joo punched two different guys for manhandling Tae Young. Him, a prominent businessman resorting to fist fights just for a girl. In an odd way, I find that really really really touching. *swoons*

Also, the way they proclaim love is super duper cute. I almost died laughing I swear. Maybe its because in Singapore, its something like "wanna be my stead" and the girl agrees. Its just so totally plain, boring, unimaginative and bleh. Yeah, I can just hear you guys screaming, "BUT IT IS NOT LIKE I'M ASKING FOR HER HAND IN MARRIAGE WHAT?" So what? Looking through my rose coloured glasses, that is the perfect love fairytale story. Which, may I emphasize again, will NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS happen, at least to me.

As an afterthought, did I mention that my favourite scene in Stairway to Heaven was when he played his white grand piano in the waters at the beach after she died? My first reaction was, "THE POOR PIANO! The wood is going to get sooo thoroughly soaked." But honestly, it was really good. I even prepared tissues for Lovers in Paris, but my eyes were totally dry throughout. Thats good and bad at the same time I guess. I promised myself I won't cry after Winter Sonata but I broke my promise after that.

I absolutely HATE shows that have the main characters dying at the end. Go to hell! I watched this so long just to see the two idiots die instead of living happily ever after? Yeah, I'm the happy ending kind of person. Maybe because I still value the result of the relationship, not just the process. There is no point being so in love with this person, having so many wonderful memories and in the end, she dies. What the heck? If I can live on memories, I can live on air too. Get real, memories hurt much more than the actual thing, because you are painfully aware that these are the only links that you have with her who is currently buried 6 feet under.

I played Maple after watching kdrama with these guys whom I met last night. He is possibly the most mature 17 year old I've EVER came across, not just in Maple but even in real life. For starters, he doesn't tYpE lIkE tHiS. I don't know how did girls get it into their heads that typing like a retard who can't spell is cutesy.

2006-03-11T12:38:00.000+08:00

Girls Talk

When you're feeling down and out, nothing can lift your spirits up like a good round of therapeutic girls talk. I'm thankful that I have such a great friend that I can share my troubles and joys with. Yesterday, we went down to Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf at Forum, just to sit, chat and talk about everything in the world, including boys, games, relatives, school, future and sex. Haha, well, not really sex as in sex but.. nvm, you get the point. *smiles innocently* She ordered a hot chocolate and a Chicago cheesecake while I took on a large sized Caffe Latte and a raspberry cheesecake. Its amazing how much chocolate powder and milk people put into their coffees. Sitting by the refill station, I was astonished at the amount of sugar intake some people are taking nowadays. *shakes head* Their life I guess, still.

After sitting there for hours, we decided to take a walk down, all the way to Meridian where I bought some green slippers for 13 bucks, which I had initially thought was around 6 bucks. Ah well, doesn't really matter, as long as its below 15, I'm fine. Time flies, and it was not long before I had to go off to pick up my silly cousin, who hasn't learnt to get home from school yet. In all honesty, I really think that she is a little spoilt. It takes time, and a learning spirit. No use complaining, she'll learn, even if it means taking the hard way like I did.

I know that this is kinda random but bear with me. I've been terribly confused, so to speak, about what to do with my life. A million what ifs and only 1 real possibility. Will blog again later, till then.

Cheats

2006-03-10T11:32:00.000+08:00

Cheating

Last night, I was kinda bored, so I went around searching and reading blogs of some of my classmates. During which, I found out that some of them were not too happy about the cheating going on in school during our tests and examinations. I found it a rather intriguing topic as they expressed how helpless they felt when the test marks did not accurately reflect the capability of certain students and how unfair it was for those who really wanted to use the test as a gauge of how good they are.

In any case, since when was life fair? I believe many of you have learnt at an early age that life is never fair and in the end, it is what you make out of your life that really matters. I confess, that initially, I was pissed off with the rampant cheating. I have studied so hard for the subject and another person who cheats can get good marks too. What is the point? Well, the point is, does it really matter so much who gets the same marks as you as long as you have done your best and have achieved your set target for the test? Its easy to be discouraged by all the negativity surrounding you, but what matters most is whether you have actually done all that you could to excel in the subject matter.

In any case, I admit that I do participate in these cheating sessions. However, cheating, usually composes of 2 types of people: The ones who copy and the ones who they copy from. As long as I fall into Category number 2, I'm personally not too concerned about the cheating. They can copy from me if they so wish, I studied for the test, I possess the information, I don't mind sharing it. Simple, end of story. In the end, the diploma certificate that is given is still printed using the same type of paper and the same type of ink. The value behind it, however, is something that only you can determine for yourself.

In the end, there is no point bitching or moaning about things like this, cuz everybody cheats, sooner or later. Thats why there are office politics. In a competitive society such as ours, results is all that matters. Thats why they like to parade the top scholars every year like some sort of trophy. Thats why schools are even ranked, in accordance to their performance at the O's or the A levels. A group of people will always have the upper hand. They may have the ability to take away your fruits of labour, but they cannot take away your spirit.

I was talking to Sean on MSN last night and he too, was feeling jaded about the opportunities we have here in this country. He is going into NS next Saturday and he is considering signing on with the army, because armed with a diploma alone, he will probably not be able to find a stable job that pays you the wages which you deserve.

I have to say that I agree with his views. Just look at how difficult it is for poly grads to get into a local University in Singapore. We can never compete with the A level students on the same platform. Why? Because A level students can't go to work with just a A level certificate whereas we diploma holders can. Therefore, they need to give more chances to the A level students. In essence, we have signed our death warrants the moment we decided to sign up with a polytechnic. Should we decide to go to work instead of furthering our studies, we'll still end up below the JC turned University grads on the corporate ladder without the necessary paper qualifications. As I say, there are always exceptions, but how many? I'm bitter about this, because as I get closer to graduation, I can distinctively smell the pungent odour of discrimination in the workplace emanating. During my attachment at an undisclosed local company, we worked together with Uni students. However if anything goes missing, blame it on the poly students. If we're a little too noisy in their opinion, complain about the poly students. Now that is our life. Fairness? An idealistic concept which is used as a benchmark for commoners to find out how fucked up their life really are.

Its hard to keep the depressing thoughts out of my head when I'm living in this kind of environment. Yeah, I know that the discrimination may be 10 times worse in other places and that Singapore is still the best place to live, according to some people. Sometimes I just wonder how many chances are there for people who chose to take an alternate route to go through life. Its astonishing how brand concious people can be. Even academic institutions have brands! When I told them that I was from SCGS, 9 out of 10 people thought that I am definitely the smart type. When I tell them now that I'm from SP, 9 out of 10 people thought, "Oh, just another poly student." So what if you had 266 for PSLE and 18 Distinctions for your polytechnic? Same calibre of results, but brand still matters.

If you were an employer or an interviewer, compare a person who has been through "RGS-RJC" and compare it to "Neighbourhood school-Polytechnic", which of the two would you think is more successful? I think the answer is obvious, even for me, because thats the way it has been brainwashed into our minds since we were wee little kids and thats the way its going to stay. Life is just a farce, so just do your best for yourself. You can do everything in your power to prove it to everyone that you're not a pushover, but ultimately, you are only accountable to yourself.

Melancholy

2006-03-09T23:42:00.000+08:00

Melancholy

Its 12.42am now, Mike should be somewhere on the plane, waiting for it to take off. Destination Japan. Its times like this where I feel terribly alone. Japan, where technology exists on a higher platform. A place where he is uncontactable without a 3G phone for a whole 10 days. Its like an alternate universe, where time slips past you quietly, yet you're the only one who is painfully aware of it.

The holidays have made me more melacholic and I honestly have no idea why. I've been re-reading my Shakespeare novels and Memoirs of a Geisha. Mapling takes up too much of my time and I really am not in the mood to play MS anymore. I think my priority right now is to get myself OUT of the house for a change. The whole couch potato thing stops right here, right now.

Tomorrow I'm going to swim with Kexin for a while, then go fetch my cousin from school. robably head over earlier to use the gym to do some walking on the tread mill since I've injured my leg and can't do strenuous exercises. My crazy cousin probably brought her bed together with her on her field trip because I don't understand how on earth is her bag so heavy that she can't carry it home alone herself? Ah well, in any case, I get to see and berate her in person. *grin*

I hope I find a job soon anyway! *crosses fingers* Wherever u are, my blogger is always open for you to post >.< I'm waiting..

You Are A BCBG Black Leather Clutch

You're a modern, urban chick who's more than a little tough

(Well, as tough as you can be while carrying a purse)

Black leather is like your denim - goes good with everything

You'd even wear it to work, if you could get away with it

What Kind of Handbag Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Filler

2006-03-05T00:16:00.000+08:00

First Class Honours in Slacking

Examinations have ended on Tuesday and yet here I am on Saturday, room still as messy, floor still as unclean and my dad's car still unwashed. I have been slacking for so many days. I did not even realise that today was Saturday until Michael told me in the early morning that he was coming over and I said "don't you have to work today?" I've felt so tired during the entire semester and now that I have a break, I am really letting myself nua in front of the computer all day long, just like old times. *smiles*

So, who cares if I am slacking right? Well, firstly, I have a couple of activities coming up and I really need to get down to work. I need to find a part time job to cope with my expenses. I need to attend certain discussion and chat sessions to fulfil my part as a "Model Student Award Winner" *yes jewl, stop rolling your eyes* And lastly BUT most importantly, I need to lose weight. *grin*

I guess I'm really a terrible procastinator after all and I just can't seem to learn from my mistakes. Why? Because it is easier this way I guess. I think it is the way I was programmed and it takes too long to debug the system.

Anyway, enough whining! School's out, and I've never felt so free as before! Hail the sweet scent of liberation! I am, from now on, free from the shackles of the education system for the next 3 months at least. Sometimes when I think about how much misery I've been through, I really feel that Singapore isn't where I would like to live in future. I have thought about living in foreign lands, but the fact remains that my family is here. And I am not just concerned with my immediate family. As much as I would like to, I don't want to leave my family alone here in Singapore. Foreign Universities are indeed, pretty attractive to me, but I just don't have the capital to go there. *sigh* Financial difficulties.

Okay, I shall end my post here. Too lazy to blog. No mood. I promise I will come up with higher quality stuff. Bleh!

Maple Story

2006-03-03T14:12:00.000+08:00

Maple Story and my Thoughts

I've never really enjoyed 2-d games, but alas, due to unforseen circumstances, namely a viral attack on my computer, I am now unable to open certain applications on my PC. The most unfortunate thing is that my game of choice, jflyff, is listed as ONE of those certain applications. (Doesn't life really like to do this to you at times?) Except for DOD and CS, which I am not particularly euthasiastic about at the moment, I am left with nothing to do save for surfing the forums on the internet and miniclips. Out of desperation, I decided to download the popular game known as Maple Story to relieve my boredom during the school holidays.

Anyway, I fired up the program and created a warrior princess who is, at the moment, level 2x. My classmates, major maple addicts, were instrumental in maintaining my interest in this game. Without their guidance and help, I would probably have sank into a depression which would result in getting my computer kicked repeatedly until it resembled a smoking black box with an accompanying orchestra of scrap metal.

Just for the benefit of those who have not touched Maple Story before: This game is FULL OF KIDS. And I do not mean kids as in immature teenagers. I mean kids as in children who have not yet sat for their PSLE examinations. Now, I'm not a big fan of kill stealing, which is why the first thing with irked me incessantly was the rampant killstealing done by both high level and low level characters. Throughout the 3 days which I spent playing Maple, only ONE person had the courtesy to apologize for kill stealing my monster. ONE. Thats statistically like, 0.0001% of the Maple population. I tell you, I almost cried when I saw that, HOORAY! There is hope for humanity.

Don't get me wrong, Maple story is a simplistic game which, if given enough time, I may be able to grow into it. Its just that the general intelligence of the people whom I have had the misfortune of encountering are basically, lazy and thoughtless babies who are not afraid of admitting it. Since when did Singaporean children degrade into such bumbling imbeciles? (Generalization I know, as long as you know that there are exceptions no matter what.) Some interesting things to note: Maple has 20 channels. Changing between channels takes no more than 5 seconds. Yet, why do I still see people invading my hunting spot, killstealing my monsters and telling me to "change channel pls"? Failure to comply with said kid's instructions will result in a slew of hokkien vulgarities that *LOL* isn't spelt correctly.

Just 15 minutes ago, I was happily murdering piggies when a low level guy started fighting alongside with me. I was pissed that he was killstealing me (as usual) so I moved to the OTHER side. After 5 minutes, he came up with this piece of genius:

Kiddo: Pls cc. Can?

Me: Why don't you do it?

Kiddo: I'm hunting for something.

Me: All channels have the same thing.

Kiddo: ... I like this channel.

Me: Aren't you just being lazy?

Kiddo: yea

Me: You know, in the time you took to type "cc pls" you could have changed channels already.

He stuck around a little bit more and then, realising that I wasn't going to budge, he decided to change channels. Personally, I do not mind changing channels, but why should I for your convenience? I was here first and you can either live with it and stick to your part of the map or change channels. And can't you even spell "change channel" instead of cc? How the hell am I supposed to know what's cc? Curry Chicken? Command Console? In true reflection, the failure of children nowadays to differentiate between internet lingo and proper english language marks the extent in which kids are exposed to the evils of the internet. Yes, the internet can be a great tool for research and information. Yet, akin to a double edged sword, there are also no barriers to pornographic material and bad influences. The internet is to be used responsibly for kids who have the right mindset and parents should take that into account instead of allowing them to indulge in their exorbitant net activities.

I was browsing the Maple story official forums and I came across people saying that young children are spending hundreds of dollars buying ingame items. Needless to say, I am not surprised, just disappointed in the way some people allow their kids to spend money in such a careless manner when they have not even learnt the true value of money. Naturally, these are the kids who will never need to work for a single cent and will grow up with the mindset of a spendthift. I have always disapproved of my aunt buying Maple story and habbo hotel game cards for my young cousins. Thats because I have been through obssessive gaming before and once they reach that stage, they would no longer be interested in school or something more productive other than sitting in front of a box and staring at their decorated 2 dimensional character.

I can sense the gap between the 85/86s and the 87s. Seriously, it is a scary trend to behold. The IT kids. People who grow up looking at computers instead of books and field trips. People whose idea of entertainment is a PC game and not hopscotch and skipping rope. People who are proud of being lazy worms and would rather not eat than to walk to the kitchen and cook themselves a pack of noodles, all the while complaining to their friends about how their maid and their parents are starving them and neglecting their welfare. I don't care whether it is generalization or not, but kids nowadays like to be waited upon. The presence of maids within the households have intensified that kind of reliance on others, so much that it shows, even when I play with these kids on a multiplayer internet game.

"Hey, I know I got here later but I really am too lazy to cc so would you pls do me the favour?" Fuck off.

Part II

Okay I just got off the game again as I was just bumming around looking at the cash shop for the prices. Then, I decided to head off and get some quest item from some insanely hyper bubble looking monsters. So, as I was training, a level 44 wizard came to me and asked me to party him. After much persuasion, I agreed. I didn't know why the heck he wanted to party me because it doesn't make sense and I'm not accustomed to leeching experience points from others. Anyway, player1 who happened to be in that location as well saw our exchange and begged the highbie to train him as well. That dude, being a nice guy, agreed.

So, we set out on "the quest to leech as much exp as possible while doing as little as we could" player1, lets call him brat, wasn't happy with the places that the highbie brought us to. He kept insisting that highbie bring us to other places. So, after walking for god knows how long and going all the way to Ellinia, he finally decided on a satisfactory place. On the way, he kept hurrying us as he had tuition *smirks* and had to afk for 1 hour.

What is the moral of the story? Brat's behaviour is totally appalling. Someone is doing you a favour, the least you could do is to be less demanding about it. They take the kindness that others offer to them for granted and choose to top it off with their own demands as well. This is why I love to antagonize these kids in the game. Sorry, I am so not the kind hearted person who is subjected to your whims. I'm not your maid, nor your poor mother. In the game, I am at the same level as you and the least you could do is to have some semblance of courtesy. Jesus christ, I shudder to think what do foreigners think about Singaporeans when they play Maple. Seriously, it was fucked up in ROSE to have arrogant Singaporeans around, but this is 10 times worse since its kid haven and by the law of sociology, if everyone is doing it, then it must be right. *rolls eyes*

Then again, I must say that there are also nice kiddos around. Kudos to you, you're minority. I have just lost faith in our education system yet against if these are the calibre of children that is being mass produced from the factory of human resources.

Oh btw, guess what? For 1 hour I gained a miserable 3% exp. I blame it not on the highbie but the @&*!^# brat who was being a total asshole. Yaa I'm elitist, sue me.

Part III

Yo! Its me again. Gosh, this MUST be my longest post yet, but who can blame me? I just realized the reason why I keep playing maple now even if I don't really like the game. Its the kids! Thats right, the very people whom I bitch about all day long (today).

Just to share my most recent encounter today. So, I went back to piggieland after dinner, but I really wasn't in the mood to train because I just died. Changing channel didn't yield any results either as piggieland was jam packed with people. Anyway, I happened to change to Channel 13 and I saw that there wasn't anybody on the left side. As I slaughtered my way through the porkypigs, I saw this magician on the other side. Okay, fine, I prepared to change channels after 1 last kill when suddenly, a magic bolt sped its way towards my pig, frying it to a crisp before my very eyes. *WTF?* I tried another pig. Before I could deal the finishing blow, in came another bolt of magic, turning the pig into another cute piece of ham. I walked towards that guy, and gave him the "-__-ll" emoticon. It was then he said the very thing that I'm hypersensitive to: "cc".

Okaay. So, I'm not really in the mood to play anyway, and I was really quite pissed with this little boy. The following conversation ensued:

Boy: cc
Me: I don't care, I'm not really in the mood to level anyway. I think I'll just stay here to antagonize you since you like to ks so much.
Boy: ...
Me: ^_^ *goes about hitting pigs while he ksed all of them*
Boy: Warrior suck! (yeah yeah whatever!)
Me: ^_^ *lalalalas*
Boy: ... *changes channel*

Damn, he gave up too fast. So, I went back to killing piggies, wondering which channel will he be in. But ladies and gentlemen, thats not the end of the show! After about 15 min, here comes kiddo again! Not one to waste any time, I striked up a conversation with him.

Me: hello ^^
Boy: ... *begins killing pigs but makes sure not to ks me*
Me: You're 12 years aren't you, if 93 in your nickname means 1993.
Boy: 13. you?
Me: I'm 21.
Boy: don bluff. (WTF? Since when 21 yr olds can't play this game?)
Me: Want me to show you IC?
Boy: ... Why are you playing this game?
Me: I dunno, cuz I'm bored?
Boy: Are you really 21 years old? o.O
Me: If you choose to believe me then I am. I am 21, do you believe me?
Boy: ya.
Me: ^_^ *lalalas*
Boy: Can I add you as friend?
Me: haha sure.. Here, take this. Make sure that you don't ks others anymore k? *gives him an ore* I'm going off, bye!
Boy: *continues his mindless slaughter of pigs*

Ahh see? Happy ending! I admit I'm a bloody bitch, but seriously, maple is damn boring if your friends are not online and if there are too many damn kids annoying you. I'm not such a bad person afterall right? Okay, I'm still playing the damn game, so there may be part 4. I didn't level at all today! I'm a good girl. *winks*

My Mom, My Sister, My Lover

2006-02-28T16:54:00.000+08:00

I just remember I'm part of her blog. Since exams are over, it means more time to slack, more time to come online and 'nua', I decided to blog on this girl's blog which barely grow. Anyway, Peizhi has been my classmates since 3 years ago. Initially, she was all about Michael until when Mike got busy during his 2nd year in poly, she finally had the time to join the girls for lunch. And ever since then, she has been stuck with me for almost all the reports, assignments and so on...

She is probably the one and only person that I've ever known with really serious sprial curls. Her life has always revoked around studies, exams and books. No life sia... Though she looks like the kind of people that most parents would feel safe when their kids are hanging around with her, BUT deep down for those who know her will know that she is someone who will come up with weird suggestions/ideas and corrupt others.

Cos of her almost daily dose of nagging, I call her Mommy all the time whenever I like it. Be it during the days burnt in ICES or in school. She is one of the sisters who I would be willing to share my dirty secrets with, those random stupid stuff and of course now that my love for this adorable girl.... *choke* - must be that I've said something wrong. *coughcough* ...grows each day... ( I'm so glad you took my rose I gave you this valentine! Lol)

Now that Mike is in NS... *grins* I'M GONNA BE HER BOYFRIEND! Bwahaha~ Just recalled that I've once made an entry for her. That was like so so so long ago. Oh well, let me fish it out.

http://funkyjewlly.blogspot.com/2005/11/alphabets-in-jewllys-life.html

She's A in the entry.

Alright, I'm brain dead. So tired. Got to sleep. Ciao!

2006-02-26T17:41:00.000+08:00

Michelle Kwan

I've been watching the Winter Olympics torino 2006 and I've always been fascinated by the skating catogory. So, who is this Michelle Kwan anyway? To me, she is the most graceful skater in the history of figure skating. Everytime I watch a performance, I can't help but compare it to hers. She was sadly, robbed twice of an Olympic gold medal by two 15 year olds. Even until now, I still don't understand why Tara Lipinski won the gold in Nagano instead of her. Torino's ending tmr, so while I still remember, here is an autobiography about the life of Michelle Kwan. Its quite long, so watch it only if you have time. Its a reminder of how you should be pursuing your passion and your dreams instead of medals - You may gain results, but you will not gain the admiration of others.

A moment in time

2006-02-24T06:05:00.000+08:00

A moment in time

This is a post which aims to motivate the owner of this blog to study and do well in her paper later no matter what the odds are. Even though she has only studied half of the notes, have not done the past year papers and have not been dilligent in her revision of this topic.

I will conquer the pinnacle of corrosion and material selection!

I really think I have split personalities. The recent fad is, naturally, the Johari window and up till now, NO ONE has chosen the adjectives which I have chosen for myself. This proves that I am a really complex person who probably take on different personas when I am interacting with different people. I am Pei Zhi when I'm with my school friends - highly motivated, occasionally slacking, opinionated, friendly. I am Christy when I'm with my gamer friends - crazy, attention seeking, a little of an airhead and complex. I really wish that the exams will be over soon so that I can really do what I wish to do. Examinations are so not high on "the list of things that I want to do before I am 30".

三角恋爱

2006-02-23T20:21:00.000+08:00

三角恋爱

此时此刻

想必有别人在你心里

但我却没怨言地陪在你身边

是我傻了吗?

还是世界已变了样

也许这一切只是我的幻觉

无人知晓的滋味

已经渐渐地麻木了我的心

我早已厌倦了这种感觉

想寻找一个能让我停留的避风港

在爱与不爱中徘徊着

三个人又是多么的不快乐

不做情人也能够做回朋友吗？

我在这等到天已经灰暗了

等待着期待已久的答复

让我继续走完人生的路程

在那风和日丽的刹那间

我发誓会把你忘了

Tripping around

2006-02-22T23:29:00.000+08:00

The Day After Tomorrow..

What hopes will it bring..?

No hopes, but there are two more papers left to go. Thats right, 1 down, 2 to go. I'm quite happy with my QAAS paper today frankly, besides forgetting to draw the R chart and the killer MCQ questions, I don't think I screwed up that badly. Thats good, ne? So, what am I doing now? I'm supposed to be studying for corrosion but I am watching America's Next Top Model. Today's episode is kinda cool! They went to London and there is paparazzi EVERYWHERE. Imagine living like that, I'd imagine that it would be kind of stressful. You can't even go to the local grocery store in shorts, a sloppy t-shirt to buy beer. And they had to take a photoshoot naked in a phonebooth together and someone farted. LOL, good job. But I love the photoshoots so far, I think its going to be great, except for Jayla. WHY did she lose her spunk?! Its the only thing that made her standout and now she just kinda feels "bleh".

Anyway, today I reached school around 11. Bugged my dad to send me to school because I wanted more time to study. He was mourning over the death of two of his darling fishies. A chinese koi died yesterday and this morning, my big ass luohan fish died. Well, their deaths put him in a terrible mood and mum and I had to struggle to get out under his temperament early in the morning. Even eating zui kweh next to him was an ordeal because he kept complaining about how the fishes shouldn't have died. He only stopped after my mum said, "Die then die la, you think your luohan can live till 99 years old meh?" Yup, way to go mommy!

Anyway, met up with Veronica in school because she was the only one in school then. The first thing Veron did was to spill coffee all over herself as she reached over to look at the question which I was explaining to her. Luckily, her sweater was on her lap, if not I am sure that she would have scalded herself. That girl, she is so cute, after she did that, she kept on saying that it is a bad omen and basically scaring herself. <_<

Kexin came later and we had lunch. And juice. Somehow her papaya juice cost 75 cents because the uncle gave her back 25 cents. Maybe today papaya juice got 25% discount.. Or maybe the uncle is PERVERTED. hahahaha. Mugged till 2pm, trying to cram in everything into my pea brain. I kept asking Yanfang to do question 6 but she kept forgetting.. Hehehe, thank god it did not come out or I will chase her with a toy hammer..

So, what do I have next up my sleeve? Scheduled on fri is of course, Corrosion exam. Then, saturday is THE BIG DAY. My 21st BIRTHDAY! Wheeeee! Time to send out maps to the party to those who has requested, sorry for the delay..

Time to mug, yet again! Hohoho, tis the season to be mugging falalalala lalalalala... ciao!

The day before catastrophe strikes

2006-02-21T21:13:00.000+08:00

Why

Its a wonder how you can turn a stressful day into a day full of joy yet also turn a happy day into a sorrowful one. Sometimes, I feel that I am not worthy of you. Sometimes, I feel otherwise. We all change as we grow older and supposedly more mature. But, I ask myself this question. Have I changed for the worse or for the better? Maybe.. maybe. It makes me sad that you can't even spare me 5 minutes of your game time to talk to me, even if you know I have exams. It makes me sad that you can't remember which day my exam is even though I just told you 2 hours ago. I was hoping to share my joy with you, but looks like I have to drown alone in my sorrows tonight.

Maybe.. maybe. A thousand maybes, endless possibilities. Maybe you have lost interest, maybe you just don't care, maybe I will learn to become numb.

Numb - Linkin Park

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
But under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I've become so tired, so much more aware
I've becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Little blue pen

2006-02-21T17:50:00.000+08:00

Tribute to the blue pen

Yesterday, 20th Feb 2005, I bought a new shiny pen with blue black ink from the CO-op shop. It was a really smooth Uni-Signo pen that cost me $2.00. This pen accompanied me as I wrote 5 chapters of QAAS notes and tutorial. Sadly, fate dictated that I will lose it today. Let us observe 1 min of silence for my poor pen. I have never felt so lost without this pen. Even though I have bought an identical one, I shall never forget you. So long and good bye..

P/S: I am not crazy!! I'm just super sad for the loss of this pen.

Tribute to Sylvester

2006-02-16T22:18:00.000+08:00

Sylvester

The night is still young, yet as time ticks mercilessly, I find myself thinking about what tomorrow would bring. Tomorrow often signifies a ray of hope, a beginning of a new day. However, this is one time I do not want to see tomorrow coming so soon, because tomorrow, Sylvester, aka noodleboy will be leaving Singapore to further his studies in kangaroo land.

As much as I wish him all the best in his studies, I can't help but feel a pang of sadness echo in the depths of my heart. I don't remember how long ago it was when I met this crazy chap at the Khabal and paGn forums. Together, we spamed the forums, we flamed many retards and did the most ridiculous stuff. I will never forget egames, nor 10v10 matches and all the gay shit I had to put up with.

Then came SS, where we also had our share of fun and wackiness. You were the one who did not want a promotion because you wanted to be the only private in the clan. Oh and how could I forget our time at Le Viet, where we were ill treated by *ahem*. Making and eating the biggest bowl of beef noddles I have ever seen in my life.

Now that I think back, its been a really long time. We took our O levels together. When I needed the internet in the middle of the night, you told me to come to Buttz house where you were. There were so many things, yet there is so little time. Your entire panadol fiasco...

Nonetheless, I wish you happiness over in Aus. Leave the unhappy things behind in Singapore and try not to fuck things up too much over there yeah? Remember your friends who will be awaiting your return to Singapore...

I HATE YOU NOODLE WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GO NOOO!!!! *cries*

Be well noodle and god bless you!

Joint Admission Exercise

2006-02-13T16:18:00.000+08:00

Joint Admission Exercise

Boys and girls, once again, its THAT time of the year! The joint admission exercises, commonly referred to as "a parent's nightmare" has come to Singapore Polytechnic.

Being the usual KPO, I have once again "volunteered" my services at the JAE. Its here that you get to meet people from all walks of life, all subjected to the merciless jurisdiction of the education system. Thats right, I have met them all. From the shy to the snobbish, from the insecure to the elites. Chaperoned by their parents, aunties, brothers and sisters, these candidates come from far and wide, all with the common goal of selected the right course to continue their torturous education career.

In Singapore, education is a BIG deal. At least to parents. Often, I see a worried parent approaching me for enquiries while her child follows behind her like a zombie. Sometimes I wonder if the parents are more interested in the course than the child.

Looking back at my year 1 days, my parents weren't that kanjiong about my polytechnic education. In fact, even now, they haven't even asked if I have applied to University or what course am I even applying to. The choice to study and learn has always been mine and I guess I am thankful for that. It would suck terribly to choose a course in which you have no passion in. Parents, cut them some slack! If they are artists, don't tell them to choose engineering just because there are better prospects! Even if they get sucky results, they will end up with no prospects, so might as well respect their wishes and let them live their dreams.

As it is every year, the HOT HOT HOT diploma of choice is the Bio related field - Biotechnology and Biomedical Science. With a cutoff point and intake of 11/100 and 9/65 respectively, it definitely ranks as one of the hardest to get in course ever. Still, I am constantly fascinated by people with a L1R4 of >18, asking me about biotech and biomed. I mean, its like you will NEVER be considered, so why don't you set your sights lower? Passion is one thing, but being realistic is another. What makes you think that without the proper basics of mathematics and science, you can succeed in that course, just based on passion alone? Sure, you may be able to learn and excel if you can get into the course but honestly, you should have done so already when you sat for O levels.

On the other hand, I'm quite glad that the people asking about Chemical Engineering seem quite normal and hardworking. On the other hand, it would be hard to tell, just based on how they act and look. Hopefully they keep the standard high. *smiles* Like what one of my lecturer was wondering, just how much prospects are there in the biotech field? Biotech is a very specialized course. Its mostly R&D and seriously, biopolis does not have the capacity to take in that many diploma holders. It would be saturated soon at the rate they keep churning out students and they would soon find themselves jobless after graduation. The bottomline for me is whether they can sustain the interest to motivate them to work hard and achieve good results for 3 whole years. Since it is a specialized course, they have to continue being interested in it even after graduation and throughout their working life. If they can truthfully say that they can, then I am definitely 100% behind you. If not, following a trend is useless and would only end in tears.

Tuesday Blues

2006-02-07T00:27:00.000+08:00

Tuesday Blues

I know I know, the correct term is "Monday blues". I think I can apply that to everyday of the week though. Well, lets see now..

Monday: Start of the week! *blue*

Tuesday: 4 more days to go! Why me?? *blue*

Wednesday: Oh god oh god why is friday so far away??? *blue*

Thursday: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! *blue + red*

Friday: Its finally friday but there is SO much work to do! *blue*

Saturday: Oh no tmr's sunday and I haven't started on my assignments! *blue*

Sunday: Tomorrow's monday.... *blue*

Maybe this is why many people I know cite "blue" as their favourite colour. Because working and studying in Singapore is too stressful, everyone is always blue. Okay I know I'm lame, but hey, its 12.30 am! I have Mass Transfer B class early at 8am tomorrow. *blue* I really think that my lecturer is a great guy, but he is just too naggy! He beats my mum hands down at nagging and that is no mean feat.

Anyway, now that I have changed my layout of the blog, feels so much more energetic just looking at the electric pink colour. I am superstar! Me! I was just thinking about my personality and it struck me that if my classmates came to this blog, they probably would not believe that I'm such a hyper, corny and lame person online. Oh well, split personality syndrome. *giggles*

I really should do some work. There are a whole lot of work waiting to be done and here I am, blogging away on cyberspace. Seems like my entire world revolves around school work now. I really wonder if I am up to the university level of stress. Throughout my poly life, I did not really get any serious bouts of depression. But I'm just afraid, afraid that once I go to the University, I wouldn't be able to handle the stress and end up repeating what I did in Secondary school. I'm thankful that I have Michael and some very wonderful friends who help me to relieve my stress. Hopefully, I get to be in the same school as them in future so that I can continue to make their lives miserable! *evil laughter*

University Blues

2006-02-06T15:44:00.000+08:00

Application to University is now officially open. Needless to say, there has been a lot of discussion regarding "results" and "university". I have not applied to any yet, but I think I will do so, that is, once I actually have the inspiration to write the admission essay.

As I skipped from blog to blog, reading about the emotions that others are experiencing now, I can't help but feel strongly about certain things that seem to pop up here and there. One of these are the supposed segregation in a class between the "smarties" and the "mediocres". Why the need for this distinction? (haha pun.) Many of my smartie friends often try to play down their results because they feel that it is the only way to get into their circle of friends without being viewed as a freak of nature. However, stereotypes still prevail, and the"mediocres" will always feel that they are inferior and think that the smarties are just spiting them. Herein lies the dilenma: If you act normal, people think u are proud. If you act humble, people think that you are making a dig at them. If you ARE humble, people think that you are just acting. So tell me, HOW SHOULD THEY BEHAVE TO PLEASE YOU?

For me, I don't really give 2 hoots about what people think about me. I used to think so, and it hurts really badly. Of course, constructive critism is always welcomed, especially from my close friends. *smiles sweetly*

Chinese New Year

2006-01-31T13:30:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!

May your angbao collection be as plentiful as the padi fields in Thailand.

Looking at the date, I think apologies are in order. I'm really too tired up with my work. I swear, blogger has something against me though. Everytime I want to blog, its always having some sort of problem.

So, whats up with my life anyway? I guess the biggest event is the completion of my FYP presentation. I am pleased to announce that our Final Year Project has come to an end at last. No more organoclay polymer nanocomposites! No more Institute of Chemical and Engi. Sciences! Its now all about.. Plant Design, Mass Transfer test and exams.

Had a great angbao collection this year, although I only visited 4 places in total. Nevertheless, I am happy with the turnout. There was a bunch of interesting events happening, such as having a bunch of Filipino choir serenade us with their rendition of chinese new year songs and the addition of a super hyperactive dog named "Chanel" to the family. Of course, the annual favourite of mine, meeting up with one of my relatives, a little boy named "Lim Peh Song". He is a bit bigger now, in K1. His name never fails to make me shriek with laughter every year though. Cute little boy. Wish I had a camera phone that works.

Perhaps another event worth mentioning is that, Michael met my relatives. Thats right, relatives. Thats inclusive of my great grandmother, my grandaunties and uncles. I guess he made a good impression, since his angbao collection amounted to $98. Gee! He only had 1 $2 angbao! Why is it not fair? *pouts*

Oh and lastly, I am SCREWED for tomorrow's test. SCREWED. UTTERLY SCREWED.

And thats it for now, I am still trying to remember whats my cousin's blog address since I'm really curious whether he has a girlfriend or not. I am ALWAYS curious in such stuff. Future gossipmonger in the making, watch out for me!

Random ramblings

2006-01-18T22:26:00.000+08:00

Busy busy busy! Looks like the busy season isn't going to stop anytime soon. Maybe when I graduate. *COME BACK MY FREEDOM!*

Anyway, just a quick summary of whats coming UP this weekend.

Pharmaceutical Test 1 - Chapters 1 and 2
Status: I gave up writing notes so I am trying to cram everything into my head before 12 while watching America's Next Top Model (Cycle 5).

SPinnovex
Tomorrow is the start of the 3 day exhibition of our Final Year Projects! For the sake of my CCA points, I have to be a stupid tour guide for the visitors and show them around. The things I do for CCA points! tsk.

FYP Presentation Slides
Status: Find white professional looking templates! Do the slides! Read the report AGAIN! Need I say more?

Pharmaceutical Assignment 5
Just whip something crummy up to satisfy the 1% of my total marks.

Just now, I left my handphone at foodcourt 3. Then someone called Peter, who was sitting next to me at the meeting. He went "You just called me." Then I was like "I lost my hp!" The next thing I knew, the phone was off and I panicked. Ran all the way to Foodcourt 3 and thank god the kopi auntie kept it for me. *grinz* Hahahaha, I am a klutz. <_<

Anyway, after the meeting, went to meet Mikey for dinner at Jurong Point. Almost fainted of hunger while waiting for a table cuz this little kid was sipping his coke slowly and playing with the ice. *Rarrrrghhh* Then we went to Andersen's Ice cream and shared a triple scoop sundae with 2 cups of coffee! As a result, I missed Love Concierge! ( '-')

Oh, and for FYP presentation, I have decided to wear a black pants suit with jacket and a black with purple stripes blouse. For now. Thats the only thing that looks nice from my mummy's collection. She has suits that look great. But its in red, green and beige. I want a grey suit! noo!

Okay, gotta go study, tata.

Project Runway

2006-01-16T22:30:00.000+08:00

Today is... *drumrolls* The season finale of Project Runway! No wonder Jay Carroll won, it was kinda obvious that his designs were the most unique and most beautiful. I had high hopes on Kara Saun, but somehow her designs didn't appeal to me much. Oh and Wendy, lets just say her clothes are typical. Its beautiful naturally, but typical. I have probably seen it on some celebrity or in some magazine, only in varying shades. GO Jay! *weet-u-weet* The only saddening part of the show was that Austin is already out. I would really love to see his runway show. He designs clothes that look like they are straight out of the magical barbie doll collection and they are so beautiful. He really has a great imagination.

Oh btw, in case you didn't notice, one of Wendy's design was censored by you-know-who because of nudity. No wonder it looks so blurry. HAHAHA.

While waiting for Project Runway to start, I had the chance (or rather the misfortune) to watch yet another "talent" search show, except that its for students. (No prize for guessing which) All I can say is *sigh*. With so many upcoming talent shows, I wonder if there are really that many talents in Singapore. Its like Miss Singapore Universe. The pretty ones are not participating, only the attention seeking ones.

Blah! To make another list of what I have to do:

Corrosion Report
Plant Design - Detailed Analysis
Pharma test
Pharma assignment
Corrosion assignment
FYP Presentation

Tsk, such a long list for 1 week. Oh well!

The aftermath of stoning

2006-01-15T18:08:00.000+08:00

I wanna redesign my room! *Cries* It looks so.. so messy. I think the reason why I don't care about the mess is because I feel that my room just not belong to me. My most beloved possessions in my room are probably my PC and my bed. (Oh I love you so much bed *smooches*) The ugly shelves were put up despite my protests. The other bookshelves were those cheapo 3 for $50 type. *sigh* Not that I have anything against cheapo stuff. Thank god they can be decorated easily. Just don't have the mood to sort it out.

So ideas ideas.. some concept that I've come up with:

1. Tropical Rainforest Theme
Before you start thinking about trees, mushrooms and wild animals, I am just interested in the colour scheme. Inspired by Kexin (who said my room looks like a jungle) I am thinking of using a forest green colour with black vector art on the walls. Maybe I can repaint the wooden bookshelves to a darker wood colour. Ceiling can stay white though, just to brighten up the room. Sadly, my door and doorframe colour is a disgusting shade of blue whipped up by my dad who combined three half filled containers of blue, grey and white paint. Maybe I can convince him to change the colour for all the door frames! Something nicer, like.. Oh well, I'll think of something.

2. Psychedelic Retro Theme
Definitely PURPLE. Nice vibrant rich purple with orange and lime green swirls around. Maybe a nice furry small carpet in the middle. My new radio jukebox will fit in nicely. Still the same old door/doorframe problem. Nicer computer chairs! Okay, I'm out of ideas. Hopefully inspiration will strike me again.

So vote for your favourite theme and stand to win a 3 day 2 night stay at a luxurious resort on planet Jupiter! What? What do you mean by you don't know how to get there?

Late night reflections

2006-01-15T01:22:00.000+08:00

Its 1am and I'm still awake. Nope, not playing pocketful of stars. I may be a little mad but I'm definitely not insane. Just happened to switch on the television and saw this chinese show on Channel U.

Its about school life, although I suspect that it is a super old show due to the traditional values it was advocating and the hairstyle of the students. (Those super toot no parting type for guys XD) Anyway, these two students, a guy and a girl were selected to be the class representative for a language class. The guy was the stupid nerdy cute type with a low self-esteem. (Think Yoshikawa from GTO) The girl, on the other hand was more straightforward and more intelligent. (Hey! Like Anko from GTO too! Thats why they are a couple in that show >_>) Anyway, as all cliche school drama shows go, they sort of started to have feelings for each other as they had to study together to come up with notes for the class.

In comes the strict head discipline mistress who disapproves of any 15 year olds having a relationship. (She is too late, I had my first love at 13. ) To make things more tragic, there is the over protective mother who is equally bad. Luckily for them, they have a super cool and cute teacher.(Whom I suspect is Gu Tian Le) So how would this end?! Will it be a happy ending for our young protagonists? Or will the traditional values win out in the end? Aiya u ask me how I know, I continue watching then I tell you la. >_< *dodges flying tomatoes*

But truthfully, there was this phrase that the teacher said that put me off. "Students are too young for relationship and they should just do their jobs as students - to study and get good marks." Excuse me, I don't think we are robots. Studying and Working are similar. You get the same workload, the same type of stress, getting pushed around by people with more authority, getting shit from sadistic people who have more authority. Whats the difference? You don't get paid to study.

Or maybe I'm just too cynical. Nahh! <('-' <) <( '-' )> (> '-')>

Ladies and Gentlemen... MY COMPUTER!

2006-01-14T23:01:00.000+08:00

My computer is up and running again! Cost me a bomb but it runs like a baby. Installing all my stuff again. Unfortunately, all my plant design, FYP and old assignments are gone. Teaches me to be more organised about my stuff. *Grumbles*

Anyway, enough of the bad news. Was really bored so I went back to the pocketful of stars game and guess what? I'm now 3rd! Someone has beaten my score *gasp* I'm now the 3rd most perverted person in this world!

Attached:

Ah well, maybe I'll try again tonight *winks*

Going for NTU talk tomorrow. Need to complete my Acetic acid part and the corrosion report. So I'll probably go to the library tomorrow as well. No more games! (Thats what I ALWAYS say... ) Was reading the SomethingAwful vs eBaumsworld thread in the SA forums. Its really quite funny and I have to say that eBaums deserved it. Go to www.ebaumsworldsucks.com for a funny flash animation that sort of explains why they are at "internet war".

Okay, going to 'nua' again. Mike sucks, he pangseh me today. -_- I'll get my revenge! muahahaha!

A lesson in "boliaoness"

2006-01-13T16:47:00.000+08:00

WARNING: Too much pocketful of stars can be harmful to your health

I should have listened to my initial instincts and not the evil Kexin, but nooo my resolve failed me.

Pharma class ended early today, so the twinies, Shuhui, Kexin and I decided to head over to the library to finish up some work. THAT WAS THE INITIAL PLAN! *growls at Kexin* The studious trio (obviously excluding me and SOMEONE >_>) did their Plant Design dilligently as Kexin and I were laughing hysterically at some indian guy from Maritime who was watching some really sexual bollywood film clip in the library. Thats right. In the library, in front of everyone. Inclusive of dancing around a nice big bed, clothings coming off piece by piece, R(21) kissing scenes and roaming hands everywhere. I'm pretty open minded but seriously, the library isn't the place to get horny over such stuff.

We finally got our computers and proceeded to log in, check mail, yadda yadda, usual stuff. Then Kexin decided to try her new mouse by playing Pocketful of stars from Orisinal.com. I should have paid more attention to the warning bells ringing in my head. Its a stupid game that is so ridiculously addictive, the ketamine of the cyberworld. It was not long after that I joined in as well. That was 3.30pm.

Fast forward to 5.00pm, this is the result:

My initial goal was to get 120 seconds on the clock. Then Kexin saw the high score and said that I just needed 10000 more to 59 000. So, when I finally reached that goal, Kexin said that the next highest is only 3000 more! And THAT was how I played until I got a high score of 123875. I could still carry on, but my head was hurting and I looked really pathetic playing this game alone in the library with the security guard staring behind my back. Oh, and just to add, whoever Bobo Lee is, he is disgustingly psychotic.

I really have to get my work done! If only I could earn money playing that stupid game, I wouldn't mind the throbbing headache it gave me. >_>

Oh and this entry is dedicated to Kexin who gave me the "inspiration" about what to blog. >_<

(> '-')> K . e . x . i . n <('-' <)

2006-01-04T20:32:00.000+08:00

-Calendar-

School Work

Plant Design Project
Corrosion Report
Final Year Project Presentation
QA&S Test - Chapter 5
Pharmaceutical Test - Chapter 1-2
Corrosion Group Assignment - Paracetamol Plant
Pharmaceutical Case Study - API Pilot Plant
Communication Skills for Work Test and Interview
Pharmaceutical Mini Assignments

Personal Targets

Clothes for New Year
Paint my super boring room
New computer ASAP
Anime marathon *drools*
A well deserved holiday
Money (Come on, who doesn't?)

Okay I'm off to do my work!

Reflections in the night

2006-01-03T23:57:00.000+08:00

Announcement: One nightmare is over.

Despite this, its not over yet. There is still the presentation and not to forget, the plant design project. I have to admit, I have been pretty slack in the plant design project. Well, thats going to change! I will definitely try my best not to let my group mates down! Because they are the most wonderful groupmates and they definitely deserve it. School really is a neverending race to the finish, even if you don't plan to be the champion. But enough of school! Its time to let my hair down and relax, at least for this blessed night. Thank god for quiet nights for reflection.

Sometimes, I really feel that I am a terribly misunderstood person. Sometimes, I wanna feel sorry for myself. I know its true, that it doesn't pay to be nice. Why? Because when you are too nice, people take you for granted.

Let me tell you a story. It is a story about a little girl who believed in a fairytale. She always thought in the best interests of the people around her, often willing to sacrifice her own pleasures to help others. She doesn't need a reward, just appreciation. However, all she got in return was misery. The people in the village often took advantage of her kindness. Those whom she helped always had the idea that she had an ulterior motive in doing what she does.

One day, there was a terrible disaster in the village. A fire broke out in the middle of the night and set the entire fields on fire. The sheriff knew that the culprit had to be found soon to applease the anger of the villagers. Knowing that the villagers were a superstitious bunch of people, he decided to put the blame on the little girl, claiming that she was a witch who had often harboured vindicative thoughts about not getting a reward for her kindness. In the middle of the night, the girl was brought to the town centre and burned at the stake.

The girl wept, not knowing what she did wrong. Her cries of injustice reached the ears of an old man who have seen everything that has happened in her life. Taking her hand, he held her close, whispering words of consolation into her ear. When her cries subsided, the little girl looked up at him and asked him tearfully, "Please, tell me what crime have I commited that I had to die for it?"
"Nothing my dear child," the old man replied. "The only crime that you have commited was to be an idealist."

2005-12-31T11:46:00.000+08:00

I feel so terrible.

There, I've said it. I DO feel horrible today. My head weighs a million tons and I could not sleep well the entire night. Even in my dreams, I see Cloisite and surfactants and organoclay nanocomposites. I know I have to do it, and I'm trying my best really. Its just.. not happening according to schedule. I can't break through my barrier at the moment, and to tell the truth, its really disheartening. I can watch the time ticking away slowly, dripping through my fingers and all I can do is to watch. Maybe I should try to be more cheerful and stop thinking so negatively all the time.

Oh well, on a happier note, its new year's eve tonight! Celebration of the inevitable. 2006 will come, whether you are hiding in a corner or out on the beach with hot bikini babes. A great way to start the new year would be to spend it on reports! Good news folks, I'm not bitter, I'm just discontented with the way my life is.

Have I ever expressed my displeasure at guys who two-time? They are on the lowest rank of the hierachy of jerks. I would never understand why girls would put up with people like them who think they can have the best of both worlds. I may not know what love truly means, but I definitely understand what love isn't. God gave you one heart so that you can have only 1 person in your heart. Unless you are an octopus (they have 3 hearts) in disguise, you have no right to be indecisive about who you love. You say you are in love, but your heart is with two people at the same time. Are you really in love? Or are you just in love with the feeling of being in love? To have more than one girl at your side, aren't you just lonesome for company? If so, please don't throw the words "love" and "care" around so frivolously. You are not worthy of it.

E-learning week @ SP

2005-12-22T12:44:00.001+08:00

Whoever came up with this half baked idea of e-learning week in SP should be maimed, shot and have all sorts of terrible things happen to him/her. Okay, well, maybe not too bad, considering that I do not have to go through this torture if my computer was still available at home. But holy shit, e-learning week in school is a bloody nightmare. The entire level 4A is filled to the brim with students, crammed like sardines. I've booked a nice little study corner for myself and I have to wait 10 minutes for the illegal occupants inside to get out so that I can start my assignments. Oh, have I mentioned the noise? Even with my headphones on, I can hear the mindless chatter outside my little corner. And above everything, the god damn blackboard is so. very. superbly. utterly. extremely SLOW.

Don't get me wrong, I love IT, but more consideration should have been given before executing such an interesting idea. Just spoils the fun! Boooo!!!

Stuff done: CSW
Stuff not done: QAS, MTB, Pharma, Corrosion, Plant Design, FYP (-.-)

I am really feeling really bad now.

2005-12-21T10:15:00.000+08:00

I consider myself a pretty even-tempered person. I'm quick to anger but I do not bear grudges unless it is really something that I consider unforgivable. Needless to say, I have been through my share of outbursts but never have I known cold fury until today.

Perhaps it is the circumstances of the night before that had led to my terrible temperament this morning. Afterall, crying myself to sleep thanks to my insensitive prick of a so-called boyfriend isn't something that happens on a regular basis. Even as I am typing this, I can feel the heat radiating outwards from my fingertips. It seems like nothing is going right this week and considering the number of negative postings I have, why isn't it a surprise to me.

The term which I used earlier, cold fury, is in my opinion a state of mind beyond anger. Where something just goes "ping" in your mind. It is calm and quiet, but there is a difference in the atmosphere around you. (Think sha qi or sakki in japanese) Nothing is thrown, no words are exchanged, things seem normal. It could probably be described too as "the calm before the storm". Perhaps some of you are familiar with it. Its a lot like a mental breakdown to me, but there is no crying (or maybe I just don't have the tears to shed anymore).

I used to think that girls who broke up with guys during NS are bitches who don't know the meaning of commitment. While that may be true for a portion of these people, I would like to extend my apologies to those whom I have maligned. It may be difficult for the poor sod in National Slavery but it is equally bad for their female counterparts. First, you get lonely and lost, then you start to look forward to phone calls and weekends. When they finally come round the corner, they are too bloody tired to do anything with you. Your plans go out of the windows as their plans now become a priority since they are the ones confined. You constantly try to understand their needs and subject yourself to their whims. After the weekend, all you feel is a sense of incompletion as they head back to the hell hole and you, to yours. Now, after 2 months, that sense of incompletion becomes worse and worse. Thats when infidelity steps in to weed out the girls who can't take the test. Those who pass with flying colours are subjected to more shit, and life goes on.

It can't be helped since the guys are practically forced into NS. I used to emphatize with them when the girls leave them, but even after that, the guys are frankly clueless about what you did wrong. However, there are more than 1 way to show concern and appreciation. Just because you kena tekan by the sergeant every day doesn't mean that your life is harder. Your girl is also having a terrible time, balancing her life and keeping it in sync with yours. The very least you can do is to show some bloody appreciation for what they do. Let me tell you this, girls need support. They need people to show that they care. Especially the one whom they love. Girls are always like that, keep them feeling secure and they won't stray. You don't need fancy dinner plans or expensive perfume gifts, although these may work in the beginning. Telling them that you love them and appreciate what they do can work wonders too. Listening to them and their problems and giving some advice or insight is great. Maybe we need case studies.

Typical Exchange 1

GF: So, what time I meet you today?

NSman: Err, actually I am quite tired, can we not go out?

GF: *pouts* :(

The Good

NSman: Sorry, I am really tired, I know you want to go out with me and I really appreciate what you do for me. I wanna do things with you too but I really can't make it today. I promise I'll make it up to you k?

GF: *pouts* Okay, I understand what you are going through, I just wish that we had more time together. Well, since you promised, I shall not bug you anymore, go have a good rest.

The Bad

NSman: Wah kao, I tired lor you don't know how to think in my shoes? You think I like to go NS is it? You no need to do NS very shiok mah, I slog my guts out to protect your country for you and I can't even rest when I'm tired, must accompany you even when I'm out of camp.

GF: I never said I don't understand what you are going through. I just ask only lor, you are not the only one with needs right? So like that my life must revolve around you is it? (uh oh) Don't go out then don't go lah *bang phone*

Typical Exchange 2

GF: blah blah .. and then my friend she tell me not to talk to her again! I am super broke cuz this year my notes cost a lot man.. blah blah

The Good

NSman: Got try to talk to your friend? Maybe she just PMS? School always increase price one, can't be helped.. Maybe ask your parents for more money? You need some I can also pay for you

The Bad

NSman: Wah lau you damn childish leh! You know in NS I kena tekan by my sir everyday? Got see me complain? (You are complaining right now) Small thing only you all complain like sai, we want to complain also cannot say anything, later kena more! Whats your problem compared to mine? We will kena jail le if we do the wrong thing, you all le? Eat sleep go school nia!

The above are fabricated by yours truly and are extreme cases. For you guys out there who actually did this and miraculously, your gfs didn't dump you.. Treasure her, for she may be the only one in this world who can stand you. Those who did this regularly and got dumped, condolences, my deepest sympathy, please don't commit suicide but this is why.

Don't magnify your problem and belittle hers.
Don't think that she doesn't understand your plight.
Don't jump to conclusions.
She is thinking in your shoes, try to understand her side of the story before commenting on how worthless/pointless/pathetic her problems in life are.
Stop talking about NS all the time in her presence unless she asked. Not all girls have the same tolerance for guy stuff and I believe majority of the girls are still in their "I love pink and Hello Kitty is cute" phase.

Final note about this: Yes, girlfriends can be a hassle, especially if they are the high maintenance type. Here is when your choice comes in. Who ask you to have a girlfriend? If you think it is worth it and she is THE ONE, suck it up, be a man. Thats why they sent you guys to National Slavery instead of us. If you think its not worth the trouble to make her feel appreciated, then please do yourself a favour and break it up. YOU don't deserve a girlfriend. Once again, the girlfriends narrated in the above are not in the bitch category. Natural selection has already done its job by letting the dumb girls get attracted to the dumb guys so that they can stop diluting the genes of those who are more intelligent. (ie: you and me! Isn't that just peachy?)

lalala

2005-12-20T11:12:00.000+08:00

FYP - A term that will strike fear into any student's heart. Those three dreadful words mean a whole world of difference between freedom and imprisonment. Thinking back, it has been quite a while since we started and I am glad to announce that I have learnt many things yet understood only 10% at most of what I have learnt. I shall not deny the sad truth that the report is due next week and while I remain optimistic on the surface, I am actually pressing the panic button repeatedly. So much work, so little time, so much to understand, so little info available. Deadline: 3rd Jan 2005. Countdown: 14 days. I have signed my death warrant.

On a happier note, I have a two week break now! And what could be better than doing assignments every day and having no computer for 2 weeks? Thats right, going to school just to leech the wireless for my assignments! Come to think about it, this isn't any happier than the previous paragraph. I think I am becoming more and more depressed.

I suddenly have my inspiration for my fiction, but now I have a new problem: too much details. You may think its a good thing, but it just makes it harder for me to sequence the events and stuff. Oh, as for a sneak preview, it contains *incest*, *gore*, *psychotic killers* and *magic*. hah.

To end this entry: Noodle, you are a PAEDOPHILE!!! hahahahahaahaha

Another day in my life

2005-12-13T21:48:00.000+08:00

Thanks to my hectic schedule, I have an average of 6 hours of sleep per day. This is definitely NOT looking up. I'm not trying to think negatively, but I am so afraid of loosing my grasp on reality. I'm tempted to escape, tempted to just stop everything I'm doing now. But at the same time, I don't want the effort I've put in to go down the drain. Its so obvious, which is right but which is wrong. Its just that.. why must we always do the right thing?

2 tests tomorrow. After sitting through conscientiously for about 30 mins, I realise that I knew so much lesser than I should. My mind keeps drifting off somewhere else. So much, so much to do, yet so little time. Even if I slept 3 hours a day, I have this feeling that I would not even have enough time to complete what I have to do.

*sigh*

SGDOD can rot in hell

2005-12-10T23:44:00.000+08:00

Having been out of the dod scene for ages, it saddens me to find out that even after so long, there has been no change for the better. First of all, I find it incredibly pompous that a particular someone dares to use the term "SG" in their name when they are not even veterans of the community. Secondly, I find it hypocritical that they supposedly advocate sportsmanship and good attitude but fail to apply it to everyone fairly.

Maybe by manipulating the sheep in the community, they have the advantage in terms of quantity, but that definitely does not constitute quality. Quality is defined by being true to your words, even towards your arch enemies or your competitors. All I see is that they have a whole load of ambition but have failed to deliver what they promised every single time. I despise them, for they can only find strength in numbers.

Serious Issue! Don't play play!

2005-12-07T17:48:00.000+08:00

***Disclaimer*** The below is purely my personal opinion and should not be in anyway quoted for truth or as factual evidence. If you think my opinion sucks, thank you and have a nice day.

These past few days, there have been several debates about the death sentence of a certain Australian in Singapore for drug trafficking. Since then, many knookies have come out of their closet to protest against this ruling, even though the poor guy is already buried 6 feet under. A certain filehosting website, which I have never heard of in my entire cyberlife, has taken specific measures to ban Singaporeans from the use of their service. Reading the responses from both my Singaporean counterparts as well as the foreigners, I am gratified to see many of them standing up for Singapore and its intentions. Despite the sensitivity of this issue, I feel the need to stand up for my country as well, not particularly out of patriotism, but mostly, because of the ridiculous comments I've read on the internet.

Being a Singaporean and having experienced life outside of Singapore, there is one thing that I appreciate about my country, one of which being the homeland security. I echo the sentiments of many fellow countrymen alike, that it is truly a blessing for a girl to walk on the streets alone late at night, without the fear of robbers, rapists or pickpockets lurking around every other corner. This security is brought about by the dedicated service of our government workers as well as the Singapore Law. Our punishments are harsh, but they have served their purpose by being a deterrent to crime. This is what makes Singapore one of the safest cities in the world.

There are many types of criminals, but those that I personally despise would probably be rapists, paedophiles, terrorists and drug traffickers. These are the people who attack the defenseless. It does not matter whether their motives were derived out of sadistic pleasure or pure necessity, it is the action that they chose to take that puts me off. Having said that, I am fully aware of the fact that there may be exceptions, but just because a certain drug trafficker has to pay the debts for a brother or a sister doesn't mean that they should be treated any differently. How many of these traffickers aren't in similar circumstances anyway? Why is it that this guy is so special? The law is the law, don't bring in drugs, you don't die. Simple as that. If you really had to commit a crime, you could have kidnapped someone and asked for a ransom. Alternatively, you could have robbed a bank or something. (Note: I'm not encouraging crimes, I'm just stating the worse case scenarios) At any one time, a rapist hurts 1 person, a paedophile harms 1 kid, but a drug trafficker can affect the lives of MANY people. Especially this Australian guy who tried to bring in 400 grams of heroin, a dosage enough for thousands of people.

For those who claim that death by long rope hanging is cruel and barbaric, please suggest an alternative method that is less barbaric than that. Death, in itself is a cruel affair. Statistics and research have already shown that death by long rope hanging is both painless and fast. I understand that Australia does not practise capital punishment. Thats cool and all, but this is Singaporean grounds and Singaporean law. It states clearly that drug traffickers will face the death sentence. As a grown up, I believe he is mature enough to make his own decisions and face his own consequences. Some decisions, are one way streets. Sad, but this is life, falter along the path you chose and you may face your untimely death.

I've also seen many people sling dirt at Singapore and Singaporeans on the net just because of this ridiculous issue that should never have escalated to such heights in the first place. I do not necessarily agree with Bush's decision to go to war with Iraq, but that doesn't mean that I hate all Americans because of that. There is a thin line between being disagreeable and being plain childish and immature because someone did not like the final outcome.

In closing, there is always a choice. This affair was blown way out of proportion by the media and certain self righteous people. I guess the biggest lesson anyone has to learn from this is that, not every choice you make has a second chance.

Kudos to you, my friends!

2005-12-06T00:38:00.000+08:00

In the silence of the night
the dark watches
hungry for company

Its been far too long since I've unleashed my emotions upon cyberspace. I've been trying my best to work hard, motivating myself to cope with my final semester. However, I have to admit, that deep down inside, I am yearning for a release of some sort. A sanctuary where I can laugh, play and go crazy with my friends without the responsibility and burden weighing down on my shoulders. Needless to say, this is probably one of the greatest desire of all struggling students such as myself. It is times like this when nostalgia sets in, and I'm currently trying to salvage the remnants of whatever friendship I had in the past with some special people in my life.

There was a time, where ignorance ruled the mind of those in pursuit of life's fleeting pleasures. Then, I was but a mere girl of 13. Trembling in anticipation, I embarked on my a roller-coaster journey of hell as I arrived at my school of choice. It was an elite school in Singapore, its name shall remain anonymous in respect of the founders, who have taken much pains to see to the success of this establishment. I thought I could adapt to the new environment. It turned out that I was wrong, and life took a turn for the worse from then on. I was an introvert, but people chose to mistake that as arrogance. That was my first lesson in life.

Lesson 1: First impressions are important

I joined the squash team when I was in secondary one. It soon became my passion, my life. I played every single day with friends from other schools whom I knew through competitions. I enjoyed every single moment spent training and playing with my cousin at various squash courts littered throughout Singapore. Outside of school, I was popular, friendly and outgoing. However, it was within my own team in school where I felt outcasted, uneasy and out of place. My skills had improved by leaps and bounds due to my constant practice and my team mates felt threatened by my presence. When I said hi to friends from other schools, it was interpreted as fraternizing with the enemy. It went downhill from there and soon enough, I stopped trying to get along with them, choosing to be a loner among my school mates. I played at the school level, but was "banned" by my coach from playing individual competitions unless "I was going to get the gold medal". Although I had the vice-captaincy under my belt, my interest plummeted from then on and at the end of secondary two, I tendered my resignation from the team, citing exams as a reason.

I remember you, my beloved friends, competitors and teachers from squash. Anderson, SJI, ACSI, NYGH, RGS and TCHS. Thank you, for being part of my life. If fate dictates, we will meet again.

So life goes on, yet it is never a bed of roses for me. I never fitted into the ideals of my class. In secondary one, I was sorted into the first class. Unity was a concept that was absent as it was every girl for herself. Results were the main concern of many of my classmates and I found myself reeling from the changes in this transition from my previous school, where everyone was willing to help each other. In secondary two, my class was the only chinese speaking class. However, I was unable to fit into the model of this class as I was constantly being targetted by the popular gang in the class. Why? Because I knew more males than them. Yes, it was something about the x-y chromosomes that fascinated some girls from single sex schools. I was friends with a bunch of people in the other classes that were party animals. As such, I often went out with them to various outings and events organised by people from other schools. At the same time, I had the misfortune of having a male cousin in the OTHER single sex school. It was no surprise that I was definitely in contact with many males of the same age. This phenomenon is termed as "boy crazy". God forbid that girls have any contact of any form with homosapiens of the opposite sex. Through this ordeal, I have learnt another thing.

Lesson 2: Labels such as "boy crazy" are usually based on unfounded rumours and all it takes is a bunch of hypocritical people to ruin your secondary school experience.

Naturally, I did not take too well with all these rumours flying left, right and centre about me. A simple thing like having lunch with someone of the opposite sex could be twisted into an elaborate tale about how I had coerced said boy into my web and was now in the process of devouring him, head first and all. I chose to ignore these groundless accusations and continued to play, lunch and have fun with my cousin and my other friends. Its just words right? Bad decision. The rumour mill went out of control and soon I found myself in the depths of various scandals skillfully woven out of the foundations laid down by their predecessors.

Lesson 3: Rumours are vicious. Words can do irreparable damage to the innocence of a girl.

Surviving secondary two was an ordeal. I hated school because everyday, I had to face the scornful faces and scorching words of these people. What did I do to deserve them? For many years, I thought it was my fault. But now I know better. Its jealousy at work. Envy, for what they don't have and can't get. Nevertheless, I still had people who believed in me.

This is a tribute to you, my friends. Thank you EePing, Julia/Joyce, Tricia, Kaixin, Jacqueline, Kahyee, Ruth and Germaine. Even now when I read your letters of encouragement to me, I feel the same warmth that I did back in those days.

So I was promoted to sec three by the skin of my teeth, thanks to the homework that my friends allowed me to copy. *teehee* As fate would have it, things did not get better. What I had experienced left me with various insecurities about myself. It was a good thing that I had my own click of the nicest, cutest and loveliest people in my life. Even though I sort of failed them in the end by quitting school, I still love them very much. To cut a long story short, during sec 3 and 4, I was engaged in various activities, ranging from DDR and Counterstrike. I tried hard to pass A Maths, yet nothing I did worked. I sunk into a depression and as a result, I no longer took an interest in school and constantly played truant throughout the school term. I failed my subjects, got into trouble with teachers. These are things that I'm not proud about but going through this brought me new insight into my life. I left school at the beginning of secondary four as I was told that I would not be able to take the O levels due to a prolong absence from school ( I was hospitalized for depression).

True friends that stood by me all these two years, Ping, Choon, Angeline, Ellince, Cheryl and Jiawen. Thanks for all your support. I'm glad that the world has angels such as yourselves.

Gaming, perhaps one of the most heartbreaking and memorable experiences of my life that I would never trade for anything else in the world. Escapism from school took its form in the place of cybergaming. Counterstrike was addictive and knowing that I was able to be good in a male dominated arena was extra credit to myself. I found myself acquainted with my first clan, Icy where I met some of my greatest friends that I still keep in contact with now. They taught me the ropes, brought me lots of joy and laughter. It was with regret as I left the clan due to some problems brought upon by 2 girls who could only be described as the epitome of all things bitchy. These 2 girls defined the term "bitch" in every aspect and every angle. I mingled around, and joined the girls squad, La Femme of Elements clan. We took part in various competitions and kicked lots of ass. Someone had the idea of alliancing all the girls, and thus, I found myself in an all star, all girls squad, Athena's Advocate. Even though most of us were the best of friends, we went our separate ways due to the lack of commitment and were split up into different clans. Nevertheless, our relationship was strong due to our unity against all things bitchy (refer to above 2 girls) and our bonding with each other in game. Competitions were played, both against guys and against females. My crowning achievements in this field included winning the SAF competition together with a few of the razor people, the Female Clash of the Titans with my beautiful companions and the World Cyber Games in Day of Defeat.

I love you all, even though we come from all walks of life, you were there for me when I was sad, cried when I cried, laughed when I laughed. I could always count on you to lend me a shoulder to cry on or offer me a used tissue to blow my nose. Thank you for touching my life.

Lesson 4: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If you look life in the eye instead of escaping from it, you will find that you are not alone and there will always be people willing to hold your hand when you are lost.

Now here I stand, as a poly student. I never expected to do well, yet I am happy with what I have achieved. Looking back at year 1, I was afraid of school. What if it turns out like secondary school? I was afraid, yet I took the step. I knew what I had to do and I was glad that I did it. However, certain perspections and fears are still predominant in the way I think. The pain may be gone, but the scars remain. Each and every scar upon my life has a story to tell and a lesson to be learnt. Each and every scar is a reminder of what makes me unique and what makes me the way I am. And this, I would never change for anything in the world, come what may.

Ramblings

2005-12-06T00:37:00.000+08:00

After a long absence, I've finally come back to planet vanderia.

It has been two weeks since school started, but I'm already feeling the pressure (Pressure = Force/Area). Its a strange feeling, that I'm so near the completion of my polytechnic career. It feels as though you could almost touch the sky. If things go according to plan, I'm looking forward to getting that diploma and moving towards a new study environment, hopefully with some of my best loved friends.

Various universities have already arranged for talks in the upcoming week. Competition is stiff, and everyone in Singapore, JC and Polytechnic alike, will be vying for those few spots, hoping to add one more school into their future resumes. The paper chase is essentially, one of the most important aspect of our lives. Sometimes I feel that everything in our life is so structured. Studying for 20 years of your life, then slogging it out for another 30 years of your life, and then living off respirators for the last 20 years of your life in dettol smelling hospital beds.

A lecturer remarked today, that there is a difference between studying and learning. Personally, I don't think that school leaves us with any choice between two. For learning to take place, one must first possess the desire to learn and a conducive environment. With all the neverending deadlines, expectation by the society and our families to do well, students nowadays are faced with a lot more stress than they are supposed to handle. Stress, is the major factor in affecting our desire to learn, creating a hostile environment, one which many would call a "dog eat dog" world.

My lecturer also said, grades aren't important in learning and that many students nowadays only care about studying. After all thats been said and done, grades still matter in Singapore, to a large extent. To get into a University, students either have to have good grades or have truckloads of money. For the poor people like us, what other choice is there, other than to study hard, study smart, all for the benefits of getting good grades so that we may continue on our structured journey through life?

You may think I'm bitter, but this is from what I've experienced in life thus far. Life is a box of chocolates, open it and you will find that most of them are rotten. I have friends who worry about results all the time, so much so that it becomes an obsession. Truthfully, I do have that kind of mentality once in a while, but I don't want to be remembered as that type of person. I am a radical, a non-conformist. The paper doesn't matter at the end of the day, because I would be just another one of the many who have the same qualifications. Ultimately, you are only accountable to one person, and that is yourself.

Stupid customers

2005-12-06T00:35:00.000+08:00

Having slept at 3am the previous night, it would be easy to guess how I look like right now. (Hint: They live in China and eat bamboo shoots all day long) Nonetheless, I was thinking about an incident that happened last night and suddenly, I had flashbacks of my EIC class. I was just basically analysing my feelings to another person's actions. To cut to the chase, this is basically what happened:

It was a fine evening as I met my dear hubby at Westmall for dinner. It was crowded everywhere due to the dinner time crowd, thus we decided to eat at Delifrance. After dinner, being the cheapskates that we are, we proceeded to the supermarket to get a drink. I had to stand in line just for 2 bottles of water, behind all the aunties and uncles who were buying truckload of supplies as if there is a hurricane on its way to Singapore. Well, can't be helped, weeknight grocery shopping is a hobby for us Singaporeans who never get enough to eat.

There was a couple in front of me, the man was probably middle age or older, tall, skinny, with a scholarly look. If it wasn't for the sneer upon his face as he commanded the cashier to bag his groceries, he could have passed off as a potential political candidate. (Maybe he is) Now, being the eco-friendly kind of person I am, I can't stand excessive wastage. What irked me the most about this man was that he had placed every single item individually into a clear plastic bag that you can obtain from the fruit/veg section. I understand the need to bag chilled food or raw food, but washing detergent? instant noodles? So fine, I concluded that he is weird, but thats not the end of it. The man then ordered (I said ordered because I certainly did not hear any "please" in his statements) the casher to double bag the groceries. (In case you are not sure, double bagging is the practice of using 2 plasticbags for 1 item. It is usually used if the items are heavy to prevent the plastic bag from breaking.) I'm sure he isn't walking home, so why is there a need to double bag items that aren't even that heavy? Afterall, you are just going to put it into a car and drive off into the sunset, emitting more pollutants into the atmosphere. It was finally over as I saw the total price of the groceries: $35.90. The man gave her a card where you can get a $5 voucher or something if you collect 10 stamps on the card. This was how the conversation went:

Man: *Gives card*(The card needs only 2 more stamps to be completed, but with the amount of money spent, he is entitled to 3 stamps. However, the promotion is being phased out, so they are not giving out cards anymore. You are still entitled to collect stamps and your reward if you still have existing cards.)
Cashier: Sorry sir, I can give you the voucher for this card, but because our promotion is over, we won't be giving out anymore cards. And that would be $35.90.
Man: So you are not giving me a card.
Cashier: The promotion period is over so we don't have anymore cards.
Man: So what about my stamps.*Man's wife/daughter takes out her wallet to pay*
Man: I want a big bag *uses his hand to tap forcefully on the plastic bags located right in front of the casher*
Cashier: *Takes out another packet of bigger plastic bags since the current customer has so graciously used up what was left*
Man: I want a big bag! *repeats same action*
Cashier: *Hurriedly tries to rip open the packaging and gives 1 bag to the man*
Man: *grabs bag and proceeds to triple bag his groceries.

Finally! Its my turn! At this point of time, I felt so bad for the cashier and so angry at the guy. But no, thats not the end! As the cashier was checking out my stuff, the guy came over again and asked for another bag cuz the previous one was torn. Torn as in a miniscular tear at the top of the bag, not anywhere near the handles and would definitely not compromise the quality nor the function of the bag. Then he asked for a card AGAIN! Geez, don't you understand english? His companion just went "forget it" and pulled him away. The entire fiasco took 10 minutes, and $35.90 worth of groceries is not a lot. He did not even thank the cashier for all her trouble.

AND they complain that Singapore has crappy service attitude. With unreasonable customers like these, where do people in this industry get their motivation from? Service staff may be there to help you with whatever you need, but they are not beneath you in social status. They are not your servants nor your slaves, so don't treat them as if they are just dirt underneath your shoes. Its true, money can buy you almost everything these days, but I guess there are a few things that money can't buy, example of which being respect and graciousness. The sad thing is, people usually are unable to differentiate between fear and respect. A man walks into an office one day and as per normal, his subordinates will greet him wherever he goes. But is it out of respect that they greet their boss, or is it because they are afraid of offending their boss?

As a final question before I leave you to your thoughts, when was the last time that you thanked the cleaner at the foodcourt for clearing your plates?

Orchard frenzy

2005-12-06T00:34:00.000+08:00

Shopping at Orchard Road

After what seems like 10 years, vanderia has stepped into Orchard Road yet again. The self proclaimed queen of Orchard Road few years ago have now been reduced to a simpering newbie, lost in the mass of people trampling around in their Gucci pumps and Prada heels.

I met up with Kexin and her friends, Samantha and Jan before we started off on our shopping adventure. Kexin is a model magnet I swear, as long as she steps into Orchard, she gets scouted by some funny modelling agency. Anyway, we headed to Far East, straight for the shoeshop. After shopping for some time, Samantha got herself some very nice black shoes and I got Michael a nice white t-shirt. After which, we went to Long John Silver and as usual, I fell for their stupid marketing tactics AGAIN. Feel like screaming everytime they do that. Regular is not equals to Medium size! And if I have to pay extra for Lemon Tea, SAY SO! Whats wrong with saying "Would you like to pay 50cents more for ice tea?" instead of "What drink would you like, ice tea, coke or sprite?" I don't mind paying more, but at least let me spend my money happily!

Bloodlines: Chapter 1

2005-12-06T00:30:00.000+08:00

Authoress Note: This is the first fiction that I've published on a online site. The plot and characters in this fiction are inspired by the literature that I have read throughout the years. The reason why I would rather put this in a small unknown corner of the internet instead of on a fiction website is mainly because I have read many fanfictions and found many of them to be fairly mediocre at best. Since I'm not an aspiring writer, nor am I a proficient english speaker, my pride would not allow me to disgrace myself this way.

If you happened to stumble upon this little corner of mine, congratulations, you are probably one of the very few individuals to land on planet vanderia. I thank you for your interest and would appreciate any constructive critism. Without further ado, I present my new fiction: Bloodlines.

Bloodlines

Chapter One: Knowledge of Arcana

The footsteps behind her quickened as she manuvered her way through the labyrinth. Acutely aware of her desperate need for air, she pressed on, her mind frantically searching for an escape route.

"Oh god, if you are up there, send me a sign! Anything!" she mused.

A loud cough to her right caused her to halt abruptly. Filled with a renewed sense of dread, she squinted at the faint outline standing at what looked like an exit to this infinite maze. Taking cover behind the neatly trimmed hedges, she held her breath and crept over slowly towards it. All of a sudden, a heavy hand landed heavily on her shoulder...

"Arghhh!" she screamed, tackling her would-be attacker with a punch that would have made Bruce Lee proud.

"Ouch! Bloody hell, Kaylen," a familiar voice rang out, "What in the world was that for?"

Kaylen woke up with a jolt, her brain still trying to catch up with the series of events. She shielded her eyes from the ray of sunlight bursting happily through the open window.

"Who the hell are... Oh, its just you Collin. Did you get up this early in the morning to clean my floor? How nice of you, but you shouldn't have."

Collin winced in pain as he gently massaged his sore shoulder. "Don't mention it," Collin complained. "I'm glad to see that you have your wits and your sarcasm intact this early in the morning."

Kaylen was about to deliver another cutting remark when she noticed her brother's disheveled appearance and darkened half moons underneath his eyes. "Sorry about that bro, but if you don't mind me saying, you look like hell. As a word of advice, fix that before Aunt Andais gets home or she will fix you." Kaylen then yawned and said, "Now if you would excuse me for not helping you up, my head is currently in pain and has specifically told me to get more rest." With that, she flopped back onto the bed, burying her face under her pillow.

"Alright, ten seconds for you to explain why were you screaming the house down," Collin ordered, as he whipped the pillow away from her clutches.

"Mmm-mhmmm," came her muffled reply.

"I can't hear you!"

"I said bad dream, you insufferable git of a brother!" Kaylen screamed. Now thoroughly awake, Kaylen stormed over to her dresser and began yanking a brush through her thick mass of red curls.

"Number one, quit abusing your hair unless you want to become bald before you hit your thirties. And number two, do you mind telling your dear brother why are you having these nightmares so frequently?" Collin asked as he made himself comfortable on her bed.

"Hell if I know, it has been like this since I turned 20 last week," Kaylen grumbled.

"20 you say? Ah well, can't escape the curse after all. Looks like you have it too," Collin chortled.

"Have what? Your pathetic sense of humour?"

"Did you watch David Blaine last night? It was cool right? Now what if I tell you that I'm cooler than David Blaine?" Collin said, as he fixed his gaze upon the silver hair brush Kaylen was holding and leviated it high up in the air, allowing it to hover vertically over Kaylen's head.

"Haha, very funny. Now, where's the string?" Kaylen asked in disbelief.

Collin smacked his forehead and with a flick of his finger, he dropped the hair brush on top of Kaylen's head.

"I'm serious you stupid idiot. Your life, our lives are in grave danger because of our abilities."

"Okay," Kaylen said, "You have ten minutes to explain before my sanity timer runs out. Go on, I'm all ears."

"Right," Collin rolled his eyes as he continued, "Listen, our family is part of an ancient bloodline that dates back to the times when magic ran freely in the veins of the people. We are one of the last remaining families who still retain the ability to do magic because of the purity of our bloodline and the precautions which our ancestors took to preserve the potency of our magical ability."

"This magic you're talking about," Kaylen raised an eyebrow, " You mean the David Blaine type or the Harry Potter type?"

Resisting the urge to kick his sister in the head, Collin replied, "The Harry Potter type. Now you listen carefully. I don't know how strong your powers are, or even what you are capable of doing. Aunt Andais told me that our magic is affected by our emotions, so I'm sure you know what that means. Don't let your emotions out of control, especially when you are in public. Run if you need to."

"So, what does this have anything to do with my nightmares?" Kaylen piqued.

"You're asking something which I don't have an answer for. Mine started on my twentieth birthday too and it has never ceased, even until now."

"What! Does that mean I have to live with the stupid dream of some half crazed monkey chasing me through a stupid excuse for a maze for the rest of my life?" Kaylen exclaimed.

Collin grinned, "'fraid so, little sister. Just another warning, don't let anyone know that you have these powers. We have some pretty powerful enemies that would love nothing more than having the blood of our ancient bloodline stained on their grubby hands."

With that, Collin sauntered out of the door, leaving a very bemused Kaylen behind in her own thoughts.

Breaking news!

2005-12-06T00:21:00.000+08:00

News Headlines: Failure of birth control device leads to the birth of yet another new blog

Curiosity for the unknown has led another youth into the realms of cyber blogging. As one of the few million people in this world that hasn't experienced the joys and trepidations of online webjournals, the authoress claims that it was a combination of morbid curiosity and boredom that helped her to arrive at such a decision.

"I just wanted a space that I could call my own, even if its just virtual reality," says the authoress.

When asked about her plans for this new virtual home, the authoress replied that this blog shall not only be a place for her daily ramblings, but also a place where she can polish her english writing skills as well as work out her personal goals.

It is her hope that this blog will last for more than 3 entries, unlike the other one which has disappeared into oblivion 5 years ago.