Sometimes, its as if you treat your close ones as superhuman, thinking that there will always be time to spend with them later and that they will always be there waiting for you. However, reality can be cruel, and when it hits you, the blow can be rather devastating.

I've so many other things on my mind, my eye infection, the insomnia, playing with my new hamsters, agonizing over the frustrating 314 test, impending lab report, emoing about feeling ignored... But the truth of the matter is, all of these seem so trivial as compared to the phone call I received from my mum last night, telling me that my grandfather's been admitted to hospital in a serious condition.

I've lived with my grandparents until secondary school. He would go out at 3am every morning to Jurong Fishery to sell fish, then come back in the morning with a nice fat fish for the family to eat during dinner. When he retired, he spent his day fruitfully, taking a walk in the early mornings, watching television, reading the newspapers, taking another evening walk which was then followed by sitting downstairs with the neighbours. He would give me money for candy, teach me mandarin and occasionally take me and my grandma out to eat or to visit my aunt in Tampines.

Then, secondary school came along and suddenly, I had no time for these activities anymore. Soon, I moved back home and my contact with my grandparents moved from a daily basis, to a weekly basis, then to once every 2 months or more. I had the key to my grandparent's place still and I've always found it easy to say that I'll visit, yet something would crop up at the last minute and I wouldn't go over because of that.

Even with his healthy lifestyle, he had his failings, his love for food with high cholesterol and his quick temper. He suffered greatly because of that, having 2 strokes, with the second one paralyzing the entire right side of his body, yet he lived through that. My grandfather was a stubborn old bull, he taught himself how to walk again through intensive physiotherapy, he taught himself how to write again by copying the newpaper articles onto my used exercise books left around in his house during primary school. He learnt to talk, to form the words with his mouth all over again. He was back to his old self, but this was not to last.

Over the last few years, all of us noticed a steep decline in his health. First, he started having difficulties walking properly. This started to worsen ever since last year so we got him a walking stick and a wheelchair, which previously he would have flatly refused to use either because of his pigheadedness. His speech started becoming slurred and the words he said unrecognizable. It got so bad because we couldn't understand him at all. Often, he would get frustrated and make loud noises while trying to communicate. Writing didn't help too because he wasn't able to write at all at this point. It broke my heart trying to fix the television for him, because I didn't understand what he wanted and he was standing in front of me for 40 minutes trying so hard to communicate what he wanted me to help him with. I can't imagine the loneliness he must have felt, not being able to express what he feels like he used to do so, like a mind being trapped in a body that wouldn't cooperate.

How could we be so blind. I should have known, I told my mum that I think he has Alzhemier's, but I never bothered to read up on it properly. When he was admitted to hospital with symptoms of a fever and urinary incontinence, I went to check wiki for it and you know what? Almost every symptom there was true. And the worse part is, the doctor diagnosed pneumonia and possibly multiple sclerosis, the worse possible combo for a weak elderly man.

Its his birthday next week, we had planned to go to the restaurant as usual to celebrate it, but that has to be cancelled now. As a granddaughter and a science student, the thought of what may happen to him is enough for now to reduce me to tears. I haven't slept in 24 hours again because of this, and there is nothing else I can do, except to cope with it and pray that I don't breakdown, because the tears are staining my lab report and my brain cannot process anything else but the pounding in my head, the soreness of my eye and the nagging feeling of dread in my heart.

Don't wait for things to happen before taking action. Its a cliche line I know, but its as true as they come. Tell ur loved ones that you love them today, because everyday is a gift of life.

;I CREATED A SHEEP!
7:30 AM