I've calmed down considerably since last night. However, when I woke up this morning, I could still feel the anger bubbling deep within my very being. After staying in this place for 21 years, I am still wondering if it is all worthwhile. I don't like to be handed the shorter end of the stick all the time. I am a firm believer of meritocracy - I should be rewarded according to how hard I've worked. It makes no sense to me that I've worked so much harder than others, yet I have to stand aside and watch while others who are perhaps luckier than I am, pluck away the fruits of my labour. I guess this whole polytechnic - JC fiasco mirrors the way of life for blue collar and white collar workers. There will always be this form of discrimination. It is part and parcel of life.

I believe I am not wrong to say that in an organization, the workers at the bottom of the hierachy suffer the most as compared to those in a managerial position. They have lower wages, more work, more targets to meet as set by their supervisors, less off days and staff benefits. If the company treats them unfairly, they can't complain to anyone. As what my mum's boss says, "The door is always open for you." Then what? They have no qualifications and at their age, getting rehired is a not a real possibility. Whom can they blame for this? The rich gets richer and the poor? Well you know.

I've studied my ass off in a polytechnic because I prefer the pace. But no matter what, I can never win people who go through the Junior College route. One particular JC student actually referred to Poly students as "2nd rated students". People who echo his sentiments may very well be a minority, but the fact remains, that it is easier to enter University via the JC route than the poly route. I do not think that my polytechnic counterparts are less intelligent. The only conclusion I can think of is that we are getting shortchanged by society. You may be a single pointer who chooses to enter a polytechnic. But in the end, as you see your single pointer peers go through JC and into their desired courses in the University, you will feel the bitterness and resentment as I have.

Leaving Singapore has never been a thought that I've entertained seriously before, but after this, I can't help but feel undervalued by the society here. Enough is enough. I may experience other forms of discrimination overseas, but at least there is an equal opportunity when education is concerned. Because the average Singaporean is narrow minded. JC = roaring success, Poly = failure, ITE = its the end. You can proclaim that this is not how you think, but deep down inside, that is already the impression that you have. If you have the chance, go take a look at those brochures or newsletters about scholarship winners and tell me how many winners are there from a Junior College as compared to the Polytechnics. Education institute discrimination. LOL.

What is my self worth? I will not tell lies. I think I am a fucking intelligent being who possesses an unearthly amount of common sense. I made it through O levels without going to school for 2 years, depending only on my foundation in primary school + lower secondary. I could have gone to a JC but I chose not to. Yet, life keeps choosing to screw me over in my education route. Why should I help this place when it chooses not to help me? I am not a conformist. As much as I think life is not fair, I will not succumb to this injustice. The grass is greener on the other side, and if this country doesn't value students such as me, than I can always seek more fertile pastures somewhere else.

;I CREATED A SHEEP!
5:38 PM