Wednesday, December 21, 2005
I consider myself a pretty even-tempered person. I'm quick to anger but I do not bear grudges unless it is really something that I consider unforgivable. Needless to say, I have been through my share of outbursts but never have I known cold fury until today.
Perhaps it is the circumstances of the night before that had led to my terrible temperament this morning. Afterall, crying myself to sleep thanks to my insensitive prick of a so-called boyfriend isn't something that happens on a regular basis. Even as I am typing this, I can feel the heat radiating outwards from my fingertips. It seems like nothing is going right this week and considering the number of negative postings I have, why isn't it a surprise to me.
The term which I used earlier, cold fury, is in my opinion a state of mind beyond anger. Where something just goes "ping" in your mind. It is calm and quiet, but there is a difference in the atmosphere around you. (Think sha qi or sakki in japanese) Nothing is thrown, no words are exchanged, things seem normal. It could probably be described too as "the calm before the storm". Perhaps some of you are familiar with it. Its a lot like a mental breakdown to me, but there is no crying (or maybe I just don't have the tears to shed anymore).
I used to think that girls who broke up with guys during NS are bitches who don't know the meaning of commitment. While that may be true for a portion of these people, I would like to extend my apologies to those whom I have maligned. It may be difficult for the poor sod in National Slavery but it is equally bad for their female counterparts. First, you get lonely and lost, then you start to look forward to phone calls and weekends. When they finally come round the corner, they are too bloody tired to do anything with you. Your plans go out of the windows as their plans now become a priority since they are the ones confined. You constantly try to understand their needs and subject yourself to their whims. After the weekend, all you feel is a sense of incompletion as they head back to the hell hole and you, to yours. Now, after 2 months, that sense of incompletion becomes worse and worse. Thats when infidelity steps in to weed out the girls who can't take the test. Those who pass with flying colours are subjected to more shit, and life goes on.
It can't be helped since the guys are practically forced into NS. I used to emphatize with them when the girls leave them, but even after that, the guys are frankly clueless about what you did wrong. However, there are more than 1 way to show concern and appreciation. Just because you kena tekan by the sergeant every day doesn't mean that your life is harder. Your girl is also having a terrible time, balancing her life and keeping it in sync with yours. The very least you can do is to show some bloody appreciation for what they do. Let me tell you this, girls need support. They need people to show that they care. Especially the one whom they love. Girls are always like that, keep them feeling secure and they won't stray. You don't need fancy dinner plans or expensive perfume gifts, although these may work in the beginning. Telling them that you love them and appreciate what they do can work wonders too. Listening to them and their problems and giving some advice or insight is great. Maybe we need case studies.
Typical Exchange 1
GF: So, what time I meet you today?
NSman: Err, actually I am quite tired, can we not go out?
GF: *pouts* :(
The Good
NSman: Sorry, I am really tired, I know you want to go out with me and I really appreciate what you do for me. I wanna do things with you too but I really can't make it today. I promise I'll make it up to you k?
GF: *pouts* Okay, I understand what you are going through, I just wish that we had more time together. Well, since you promised, I shall not bug you anymore, go have a good rest.
The Bad
NSman: Wah kao, I tired lor you don't know how to think in my shoes? You think I like to go NS is it? You no need to do NS very shiok mah, I slog my guts out to protect your country for you and I can't even rest when I'm tired, must accompany you even when I'm out of camp.
GF: I never said I don't understand what you are going through. I just ask only lor, you are not the only one with needs right? So like that my life must revolve around you is it? (uh oh) Don't go out then don't go lah *bang phone*
Typical Exchange 2
GF: blah blah .. and then my friend she tell me not to talk to her again! I am super broke cuz this year my notes cost a lot man.. blah blah
The Good
NSman: Got try to talk to your friend? Maybe she just PMS? School always increase price one, can't be helped.. Maybe ask your parents for more money? You need some I can also pay for you
The Bad
NSman: Wah lau you damn childish leh! You know in NS I kena tekan by my sir everyday? Got see me complain? (You are complaining right now) Small thing only you all complain like sai, we want to complain also cannot say anything, later kena more! Whats your problem compared to mine? We will kena jail le if we do the wrong thing, you all le? Eat sleep go school nia!
The above are fabricated by yours truly and are extreme cases. For you guys out there who actually did this and miraculously, your gfs didn't dump you.. Treasure her, for she may be the only one in this world who can stand you. Those who did this regularly and got dumped, condolences, my deepest sympathy, please don't commit suicide but this is why.
Don't magnify your problem and belittle hers.
Don't think that she doesn't understand your plight.
Don't jump to conclusions.
She is thinking in your shoes, try to understand her side of the story before commenting on how worthless/pointless/pathetic her problems in life are.
Stop talking about NS all the time in her presence unless she asked. Not all girls have the same tolerance for guy stuff and I believe majority of the girls are still in their "I love pink and Hello Kitty is cute" phase.
Final note about this: Yes, girlfriends can be a hassle, especially if they are the high maintenance type. Here is when your choice comes in. Who ask you to have a girlfriend? If you think it is worth it and she is THE ONE, suck it up, be a man. Thats why they sent you guys to National Slavery instead of us. If you think its not worth the trouble to make her feel appreciated, then please do yourself a favour and break it up. YOU don't deserve a girlfriend. Once again, the girlfriends narrated in the above are not in the bitch category. Natural selection has already done its job by letting the dumb girls get attracted to the dumb guys so that they can stop diluting the genes of those who are more intelligent. (ie: you and me! Isn't that just peachy?)
;I CREATED A SHEEP!
10:15 AM
